i wish more than anything that i could take it all back. That instead of being a complete ass, i could tell you how i feel. That i love you more than anything. I know I pushed you away but this is killing me. You were the one thing good in my life….You are the one person that i never wanted to hurt. the one person that i will always protect at all cost..hah how did i manage to screw that one up?
I just want you to know that I love you. No matter what happens. But I don’t want you to reach out to me….I cant…I’ll just hurt you again. and i just cant take that. I just want you to know that im sorry: for every hateful thing i ever said to you, for every time i wasn’t there, and all those times that i was part of the problem. I wish that that there was something that i could do or say to show you how much you really mean to me. But there’s nothing. I screwed up too many times. I just pray that you’ll find someone that loves you as much as i do, and treats you a hell of a lot better.
I know that many will think i am a coward, but you are the only one that knew of all the demons I faced every single day.
There was nothing you could. I’ve been headed down this road for a long time now…..You saved me once, but now I don’t deserved to be saved. I love you. I always have, and I always will.
forever and always……