So a guy added me as a friend on facebook tonight. I didn’t really know him, but we had mutual friends so I accepted. He then messaged me and we started talking. This happens a lot to me and I always feel bad ignoring them. I just like making others happy, so I try my hardest to be nice. This particular guy, very attractive, he’s 21. I’m only 16. I know the type of guys that do this, desperate, just want to bang. I’m an extremely good girl though. I am in honors classes, I play sports, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I don’t sneak out, and I’ve never had sex. I’m not afraid to tell guys that, I always let them know right away. Usually that makes them say something creepy to me about changing me into being bad. But this guy, he didn’t do that. He told me that was really nice and he said it’s hard to find girls like me nowadays. He told me he thinks I’m really cute and he wants to get to know me. As often as this happens, each and every time I want to explain how I’m not as perfect as I appear. I want to warn them that sometimes I starve for days, sometimes I make myself throw up without even realizing it. I have scars on my leg from cuts that I made. Some of them aren’t even scars yet. I want to explain how I lay in bed at night and cry because I’m scared to keep living and how I dream of being dead. I want to scream and tell them I’m not pretty, I feel fat and ugly all the time. All of those things are invisible to a person like him I guess. I don’t understand it. It makes me feel bad, like they think I’m so great… but if they only knew.
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I think we’re twins? honors classes, sports, seemingly perfect, good at hiding everything, on the outside a good girl. so yeah I’ve been thinking a lot and I realized that if we know how much we can hide, then I wonder what he’s hiding? who else is in pain? if my friends are missing everything that I’m going through, then what am I missing about them? I’m glad you were nice to him because you never know if he might just feel the same way. just a thought.
He’s riqht,there arn’t qirls like you now a days.I to have scars on my leqs from cuttinq.I starve myself.They arn’t Invisible to me cause I know exactly what your qoinq threw.Just be qlad that someone still wnats to qet to know you after you told em all that.I know you from what I’ve red about you and I can say that even tho you cut and starve,your still perfect!:)I’m the one that no one wants to be around:/……..Your qonna make some quy the happiest person someday!
i’m so sorry things are so hard.:( i’m a recovered anorexic so i definitely know what you mean. i’ve realized though that i’ve always been my own toughest critic. perfection was always the goal,I had to be gorgeous and get good grades and be nice and be the best at everything in order to feel like I was good enough,and I had to make it all look effortless so no one would “find me out”. and realize how “messed up” I was. I always trying to overcompensate because I was abused and because of it I’ve always struggled with low self esteem. people say I don’t see myself clearly,and i believe it’s true now.I carried around pain caused by someone else for years,and felt like I was the one who had something wrong with me,when it wasn’t me at all,it was the person who hurt me.it’s not bad to feel upset or hurt.people shy away from it like it’s shameful to be sad,but it’s not. your feelings matter. i hope talking to people here helps you feel better.:) you sound like a really nice person. you can do anything in your life.:) don’t give up! I hope you realize how much your worth.
and also,just be careful k? he is quite a bit older than you. take care!