Isn’t it funny how my mom says she loves me but all she does is criticise me? Funny when she finds out that I tried killing myself she yells at me?
Is it really my fault that when I hate my house so much that it is horrible for me to want to move out? Is it really my fault that CPS got called because my stepdad tackled me and I blacked out?
I don’t talk to my mom or stepdad, I don’t want them touching me or pretending that everything is ok. I want out. Is it really that weird that I’m rebelling against them? I mean are they really that stupid that they don’t understand why I’m doing it?
I hate my parents, I hate my house, I hate my circumstances, I hate my life.
10 comments
I have steadily grown away from my family. I have had childhood experiences of psychological and physical abuse at the hands of my parents (mostly my mother). It has damaged me and affected me in so many ways and still does today.
I got out by going to University. I was 19 and since then I never looked back (now 34). However, it was very hard, was very alone and had no support and that has continued into my later life.
I understand that it must be very difficult to live in that situation. Can you speak to councilors or do you have some professional help? Trying to spend time thinking and figuring out how you can get out of the situation might help?
I have a therapist but what can she do against my living conditions? If you think that she can make me feel better towards my parents…that will never happen. If anything my relationship with my mother has gotten worse. I have been thinking about how to get out of the situation…moving out.
If yr stepdad is touching you, please please get help because it isn’t going to stop on his own. If you want to leave home (and frankly I think u should it doesn’t sound safe for you) there are ways to do this. If you google ‘child sexual assault’ I’m sure you will find links to protection agencies who can help you. In the meantime, try to think of ways to stay safe. Try not to be alone in the house at the same time as him, maybe spend time at a friends house. Depending on how far it goes, going on the pill might not be a bad idea. If you have access to sedatives, it’s not uncommon for victims of abuse to spike their abusers food and drink to knock them out… Its a very short term solution but anything that will keep you safe for one extra day is good
Well he doesn’t sexually touch me….just kisses me on the head or hugs me…but I hate it. I can’t stand him doing that to me after physically tackling me. I was sexually abused once, but that was by another family member. I just don’t know.
One_day : I didn’t read it as sexual abuse.
Physical contact in ANY form is something that I personally cannot deal with. I hate even having to shake hands with people and if someone tries to hug me or get close, I back away. I just do not want to be touched, so I know how you feel rebel. It is something that I feel when someone does that it is just fake.
As far a a therapist, sure, I agree that their abilities and possibilities to help are limited. I actually have no therapist anymore because it doesn’t help at all, not a single bit.
Moving out is definitely an option, certainly a way to gain some space and maybe that will help enough to give you energy to make other changes. I know how you feel too be trapped. I am also trapped (for other reasons) and it is very painful.
So, if you can, start to investigate ways to move out. IS that a clear possibility?
There is a possibility of moving out but there are difficulties with both.
1. My biological father. He wasn’t in my life until five years ago. We have an awkward relationship because I haven’t really forgiven him for leaving me and not being here for me now. He lives in another state. I think about moving in with him because it is MY choice whether or not I want to live with him.
2. My aunt. She really wants me to live with her because she knows EVERYTHING that is going on. Well the difficult with that is that my mom would have to connsent to letting me live with her. Which she probably won’t. If my mom doesn’t let me live with my aunt, my aunt is going to take it to court. That will be a long and difficult process that I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle. Not to mention the way my mom and stepdad will be towards me if it does happen.
Hi again
I can only respond from an outside perspective, so forgive me if I cannot grasp the situation as ideally as you might need, however, I would like to try.
I see both choices are very difficult and both pose very different but difficult situations. Moving in with your Aunt seems like a difficult task that would take a lot of time and cause maybe some additional problems and may require a large amount of strength, which I know is very hard as I struggle with finding strength daily.
Moving out of state may be hard too, and moving in with a biological father that you do not know enough is possibly hard too. Forgiveness is something that is very hard to accomplish, but at least something that can be worked on.
As long as you are not “running away”, I think a move as soon as you feel you can would hopefully help you. I say “run away” because I have spent my life doing that (have lived in 40 different places in 8 different countries and if I could, I would be gone again, but I cannot run this time).
On moving – perhaps a sit down and having a mature discussion of maybe staying with your aunt very temporarily – say a month would be beneficial to everyone … going to court will rip and shred an already fragile family relationship. Set goals on how to measure the success or failure of he temporary arrangement – like a contract (duke could be helpful on this)
compromise dawg
I have run away from home once and when my stepdad found me and I refused to come home he threatened me with the cops. It was a horrible situation.
My aunt is going to try maturely talking with my mom about it. Going to court would not only rip the family apart but it would destroy me. Because though I try explaining what my situation is…I can not explain it enough for people to fully understand why it is horrible and what is going on.
Same here. I ran away last year. I was found by cops like 4 hours later. It was dark and cold… :/ and court and all that legal and custody stuff ruined my life too. And I can never properly explain it either. Why I hate my grandparents. Why I hate this house. Why I hate Virginia and my life. I just know that the sooner I get out of this house the better. I’m ready to burn it down with me in it. But I know I won’t. I’d rather just shoot myself. But I’m trying to stay possitive. Three more weeks until I get away to spend the summer with my real family. The part of my family that actually gives a s*** that I’m alive.