My story

so as of right now im not on here because i hurt myself im just here to get my story out there so people hear it you can comment or whatever you want to do or just ignore this

but i am 20 years old for the greater part of my life i have dealt with strong suicidal thoughts i have self injured turned to drugs and booze mainly booze  but when i was 12 years old i met a girl her name was skye she had iceberg blue eyes and long blonde hair we were together for 3 years we went through everything together but unfortunately this involved falling into the wrong crowd together we got into drinking and drugs when we were around 13 and a half  we both dealt with strong feelings of depression we both dealt with depression but we never hurt ourselves not until one of our friends killed themselves then everything went down hill we were fighting i was so busy trying to help everyone else cope with there feelings of grief that i never stopped to let anyone help me so it all ended up getting bottled up inside me up until one day when she got into a fight with her parents and came to me for help, and that’s when everything just exploded out of me and i told her i had my own shit to deal with and couldn’t help everyone all the time, i didnt hear from her for a couple days after that until i went to her house and her parents told me she had killed herself after that i was completely closed off to the world wouldnt open up to anyone i would talk but never about anything personal, i drank everynight and did drugs and cut extensively always wanting to end it but never having the guts to press that little bit harder up until i i was 18 when another friend and her girlfriend killed themselves because noone supported there relationship the school brought in grief counsellors to help people cope they were more then willing to help until they found out i was 18 thats when they told me that they couldnt help me because i was 18 and that was there cut off age because they were youth counsellors and if your reading this you might agree thats i little messed up, but once again i was left to handle a suicide myself because everyone was worrying about everyone else including myself i just had to put on a strong face and had to find a way to cope so i got a tattoo to memorilize her and her girlfriend, i started trying to quit drugs and drinking and cutting and now 2 years later i havent cut in over 8 months i dont do drugs and rarely drink. and im not saying this as a success story because i still deal with all those feelings and its hard.

im not writing this to tell everyone those feelings will pass or that everything gets better, im writing this to tell everyone my story and maybe give people a little bit of hope that there situation could get better thank you for reading and listening to my story