This is the question I ask myself everyday and honestly I don’t ever expect the answer. All my life people have had little faith in me. Telling me I will go to jail when I get older, saying I beat down a girl when I did not, and so much more. In fact I was accused of rapeing my  niece when I LOVE that girl and have told everyone that I always want to be there to protect her. If I raped her that would go against my word AND my morals.  People have told me numerous times I look like a pedophile and that I have […]
July 2012
It’s laying late in bed. There’s a thousand & one reasons to hate yourself. I’ve given up on myself 6 times. The most severe time that I do remember was on February 2, 2012.
I stayed home from school (my senior year). I don’t like going to school when I feel really depressed. I usually just told my mom that I was sick. MY mind played tricks on me & my nerves made me sick. There was a full bottle of NyQuil & full bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol. I took both. I chugged & swallowed. Things shouldn’t have gotten this bad. I called my friend […]
Life was always hard on me, from the day I was born.. with an alcohlic father who had abandoned me and my mother when I was 2 and a mother who’s hobby is to blame me for everything and yell at me.. Really no one to care for me at this age. I was always alone and I tried my best to always get out of the house as much as I could because why would I stay there..
When I got older and there had been more yelling towards me, neglect, and beatings.. I even remember one time when i was in grade 2 and […]
I have absolutely had it with this world. This society. The sheep that live around me. The doctors so greedy for money that they slap a label on me, without doing proper investigation, that follows me for the rest of my life. Let me elaborate a bit.
At 16 years old, I was having trouble coping with the pressures of adolescence and growing up in an abusive home. One day the pain became too much to bear and I broke down. I was taken to a mental hospital. (Of course a mental hospital. Because people in this day and age are too self-absorbed to HELP a […]
Lately, I’ve been trying to determine if I was born broken or if my life made me this way.
I mean, I can go down the list of my life experiences and lay out a path of the things that seem to have lead up to the way I am now. But, might not a better person, with better DNA or a better soul or whatever you believe to be at the core of us, have reacted differently to the same kind of life. Maybe I’m just not meant to be well, or worthy or happy.
I can’t sleep much at all anymore. My mind just races […]
Well im only 15, about to start 10th grade next months. To be honest feel like im about to start hell. Having to see the same faces i’ve seen for the past years. I really feel like giving up now. Im so worthless. Really. And im sure no one would really be hurt if i was gone. Most of my friends turned their back on me. Ive always been an insecure little shit. And today i realized im really a big hypocrate. A pathetic brat. im just so mad at myself…… I’ve always hurt the people around me, everyone really. Im sure there isnt even […]
and its raining like a god damn *****. And I have to go to my shrink. On a bike. I hate her even more now.
My Life Just Needs To End…
 Well I’m 16 now but 4 1/2 half years ago my life started to change… For the worst.
 It was my 8th grade year I was so excited to grow up and be a “teenager” I knew a lot of people but didn’t have many friends I kinda kept to myself and my sister got me into weed so I thought I was the only one who smoked at my school. I kept it a secret from even my Bestfriend at a time… But then I met this girl and her name was Alex omg she was amazing she became closer […]
I’ve finally done it, Only took me almost two years to say no more.
No more doctors. No more pchycologists. No more meds. No more anything. I’m done with everything.
Its what i wanted. So why dont I feel good about it?
Ive tried to tell myself that it was just a phase, for the fact that it is common for a teenager of the female gender to develop feelings, or in my case, fall in love, with their male best friend. And since I run every feeling and thought underneath a “Logic” magnifying glass, I’ve been able to coax myself into believing that when I fell in love with my best friend at the age of 15 it was because of the fact that we had known each other for so long before we were teens, that the reason that he was my first kiss is […]
I was at work today and I woke up late so I didn’t have breakfast anyways I had gotten some m&ms from a friend and a coworker had said he was eaten them. Well knowing me u don’t wanna fuck with me wile I am hungery. So I didn’t mean too but I said out loud “you better not touch my m&ms you A-hole” and so they took that for a ride and would not let it go. They even started to call me it. By the end of the day I was so ready to punch the shit out of them. And I have […]
damn its getting so bad. Does anybody feel like theyr so pissed at themselves, at the way they are, that you just want to hurt yourself? Lately its like I find any excuse to bleed or bruise. punching things cutting ‘accidentally’… I can’t even escape in my slee, I have nightmares I try and kill myself but I won’t die. And I wake up with scratches on my arms from my sleep…. And sadly the most important person never even notices… I feel like I can’t even talk to her because she’ll be pissed….. Were best friends, inseperable and yet she doesn’t ask what’s wrong… […]
Over the last 3 or 4 years, I have been sinking further into despair. I am now at a point where I am ready to exit. The times I have been most at peace over the last few years have generally been when I have been sleeping; I figure that a sleep where I never wake up would be a good thing. I know this might sound like a First World Problem, but my descent began when I got made redundant during the GFC. Since then, I have had to take jobs that have paid less, and also had to use up all of my savings during […]
This is a Story I just began. I write war stories and some weite poems and other stuff like that tell me if you likw it. Iit involves society and its problems sort of.
He sat in the corner of the hotel room. He had all the lights off. The view outside was of a world torn in pieces. Man went back to war and killed each other. Riots in the streets and no one was safe.
He thought about his old home. Now a wrecked black scorched skeleton of the home he knew. He remembered the bloodstained walls as he walked for the last time through […]
I haven’t eaten in 3 days now, the unbearable want to eat or drink has passed and I no longer feel hungry or thirsty. The lack of food and water has made my mouth extremely dry, I’ve been swishing water in my mouth and spitting it back out to keep from having my lips crack in a painful manner. I feel weak, every movement is slowly becoming a battle and I can feel every breath becoming more difficult. I feel peaceful though, strangely enough, I’ve come to peace with myself and I’m no longer afraid to pass. The most difficult part about waiting to pass […]
ryans party. best night ever. still a few hours to go, using itouch to post…ily ryan ~<3
Please fix or disable the paging functionality – it does not function correctly … any post that has comments that go multiple pages only shows the first page of comments no matter how many times you click the “next”, “Previous” or number tabs – it’s broken … and fairly annoying – thank you for you attention to this matter 🙂
QA Dawg
We all hope for a better day.even in the harshest of conditions. we see a light through every tunnel.but does that light ever get to us.is this world ever kind to us.find yourself awake in bed (while others sleep)find yourself thinking about how messed up ur life is.maybe the world ran out of hope before we came.maybe hope is irrational or maybe i am delusional
Hi,
Id like to have a hand to hold to help me through this and make me strong to do this?
as long as i chudd remember my mom was on drugs. wen she was high on pills me nd my sister picking her uhp off dha floor nd putting her on dha bed, making shure she ate, nd giving her a bath became a every day routine. we were young, very young nd we had to run behind our mom like a toddler. our dad wasnt going to do iht nor was our brothers, he had a enough wit her popping pills nd being selfish. me nd my sister was too bhuh our love for our mom was so much dhatt iht chuddnt let us leave her der. […]