I am only 13. And I think about suicide often. Im so young, and ive had it so hard. Things just confuse me so much. When I was 10 I made a “reasoning book” Every time something kills me a little more inside, and makes me think of suicide I write it down in my reasoning book. My plan is when I get to my 100th reason, I will finally try to seek help. I will ask for help. I will put all my trust on a line, and ask for help. And if finding help fails, It will be my last day to breathe.
Reason #1: My dad is so cruel.
Reason #2: I’m blamed for everything.
Reason #3: Jenny left us.
Reason #4: My grandpa died.
Reason #5: Im moving.
Reason #6: Started middle school- no friends.
Reason #7: Leah left.
Reason #8: Big trouble.
Reason #9: Cabin all summer- abandon.
Reason #10: 7th grade, Failing.
Reason #11: I hate people in my school.
Reason #12: Judged by everyone.
Reason #13: I make bad choices.
Reason #14: I’m a ” stupid slut”
Reason #15: He hits me.
Reason #16: They both hit me.
Reason #17: My life sucks.
Reason #18: He cheated on me. I wasted a whole year of my life, on him.
Reason #19: It’s all my fault.
Reason #20: My dad is an alcoholic.
Reason #21: I was molested.
Reason #22: I’m a desc-race to my family.
Reason #23: She doesnt believe me, nobody does.
Reason #24: Kicked out of my house, for good.
Reason #25: Mom and Dad hate me.
Reason #26: Abondon.
Reason #27: I feel I cant even turn to God.
Reason #28: The only guy I trust, is moving.
Reason #29: I’m mean to people, because people are mean to me.
Reason #30: Rumors.
Reason #31: un noticed.
Reason #32: I have to fake a smile.
Reason #33: Nobody understands.
Reason #34: He told everyone my personal business.
Reason #35: I’m a phsyco.
Reason #36: I’m like my dad.
Reason #37: “I’m ugly.”
Reason #38: I woke up today.
Reason #39: I just want to die in my sleep.
Reason #40: Suicide seems so reasonable right now.
Reason #41: I broke up with him.
Reason #42: My best friend hates me, She’s my only friend.
Reason #43: He doesnt love me anymore, But breaking up with him was a mistake.
Reason #44: I hate myself.
Reason #45: “Im stupid”
Reason #46: Im still so in love with him, but he loves somebody else.
Reason #47: ” i’m a rachet bust down hoe, who need to get beat again. ”
Reason #48: They were right.
Reason #49: The truth hurts.
Reason #50: He’s moving.
Reason #51: I think age started to matter to him.
Reason #52: He ignores me, so much.
Reason #53: He can’t keep any promises, that he makes.
Reason #54: He turned 18 today. </3
3 comments
Im sorry 🙁
Don’t give up. You can get through this. You’re 13, and so young to have to deal with all of life’s shit… But you WILL find a way. I did. I understand. Life seems so pointless, but it ISN’T. You were put on Earth for a reason, although sometimes you can’t see it. Keep your head up, don’t let them get to you. Be better than the people who bring you down. Don’t give up. Fight.
hey, i’m sorry that you feel that way at your age. Just remember that the things that is happening the now in your life….won’t alway be that way, nothing ever does………..