I’m geting really tired this ridiculous life. All I do everyday is turning my brain to off so I can run away from my pain. That’s the only thing that worked so far too. I can’t connect with anyone, can’t relate to anything and can’t find any worth in me. I’m tired of pretending I still want to do studies, tired of pretending everything is gonna get better. I’m sick of hearing the same lies everyday, sick of lying all the time. I can’t bare living among people who’d rather value greed, malice, and putting their kind down all the time. I’ve had enough of people who spit on kindness, sincerity and honesty. Most of all…I’m tired to being forced to look at this ugly world everyday and not being able to do anything about it.
Glad my internet was installed today. I could efficiently waste the day away like always and made some research. I think I have chosen how I want to go(when I’ve gathered the courage). Carbon dioxyde poisoning sounded good for me. I just need to figure how I can connect the exhaust pipe of my car to the inside…I don’t know if I’d leave a letter behind. I don’t feel like leaving any trace of my existence. If I leave one it would be small. Something like:
“For everyone that knew me, do not feel sadness. Please, just rejoice for I have never felt so free, I have never felt so alive then this moment where I decided to end my life.”