For those of you being bullied and contemplating suicide…

Listen to me.

I know what it’s like having to go to school, and dreading it, just to get bullied every day.  I have ADD and slight dyslexia (but you would never know it unless I told you), so I went to “special” classes because I learned differently.  I got picked on, constantly, until I finally beat the shit out of the kid for doing it (but I don’t recommend this), and after that, nobody fucked with me.  I know what it’s like.  I was afraid to go to school.  I used to beg my mum to let me stay home, and my grandfather told me I had to buck up and kick some ass, or I’d be bullied.  For the rest of my life.

My senior year (which is the year that I dropped out due to my cancer, because it got too hard for me to go, and I was too sick and in too much pain) is the year I became the most suicidal I’ve been in my whole life.  My teacher, who I was the closest with, got me to open up to her.  My principal came u to me and told me how he tried to kill himself when he was 16.

His words were, exactly, and I quote:

“No matter what happens in life, someone always needs you, and someone in your future will need you.  You just have to stick around long enough to find out who.  You need to be successful in life, or all you’re doing is proving those kids right by showing them that you’re scared enough not to show u.  Guess where they will be in 5-10 years?  Parents.  Parents with dead end jobs.  Shocker, right?  That’s where my bullies are.  I might be a dad, but I’m just trying my best to give my little girl what I never had.”

And then, he was diagnosed with cancer, and he passed away 2 months after that.  He was the one teacher (beside the one that I finally opened up to about being suicidal) that I honestly, truly respected after that, and it broke my heart that he passed.

Take in those words.  Breathe them in, breathe them out.  In.  Out.  In.  Out.  In.  Out.  And in again.

You’re being bullied.  You will make it through.  You’re stronger than that.  The ones bullying you are the weak ones, not the other way around.

I don’t think those being bullied on here get much inspiration.  I don’t think they get a lot of attention, because people blow it off as just bullying. “It’ll get better” when sometimes it never really does.  Sometimes it just lurks…  and sits around…  and rots…  and it never gets better…  until there’s finally maggots everywhere, and what damage is done, and it can never be fixed.

Stick around.  You never know what’s around the corner.  Life’s like a roller coaster that you cannot get off of, and there’s the ups and the downs and the twists and the turns and the flips and everything else, but it’s a thrill ride, and there is no “next stop”, it’s a never ending run, unless you decide to end it, and if you end it, you may never know what is right around the next corner.