i read everyone’s posts and i know you think you are in pain or have it bad, but you don’t know what that is compared to me.
i am suffering from a strange kind of insomnia where i never feel tired. i can go days on end without sleep and this has been going on for three months. somehow i don’t have the ability to feel tiredness, so i have no desire to sleep. my brain however has been losing its ability to think or remember anything new. the old stuff is still there, and i look normal, but i can’t think when i need to. i will be losing my job soon (because you need to think for most jobs), and i’m unlikely to be able to get a new one. this means i will be homeless. but with the added pain of never having rest or sleep.
on top of that there are some complications. i have a huge stye on my eye that is painful. this is because i am awake all day, every day and so my eyes are totally dry (most of you get to close your eyes for 8 hours a day so they don’t get too dry). this is physically painful all the time, and there is never a chance to say ok, i’ll just rest a bit and at least have a break, because there is no sleep for me.
so everyone who thinks they have it bad, look at me. there is no end in sight to this insomnia and the depression and physical pain it has brought on. meds don’t work, doctors and psychologists haven’t fixed anything and they don’t actually have that many tools to treat this kind of thing. so yes, i want to die but i know it is almost impossible to go through with the actual suicide (wrist slitting, pills etc are ineffective if you look at the stats). only hanging and jumping are going to succeed, but both are too hard to do… fuck
4 comments
I feel for you, I truly do, sleep deprevaton is one of the worst things a person can experience. It will make you go crazy, I’m surprised you were even able to write this post. I wish there was something I could suggest, I imagine you have already tried anything I can think of.
Meds and psychologists aren’t the best. Maybee you can read The book of Tao – Translation of J. H. McDonald http://www.duhtao.com/translations.html
And The book Evolve your Brain, from Joe Dispensa.
I will cite two parts of the Joe Dispensa book:
[…]
“This concept in neuroscience is called Hebbian learning.
7
The idea is simple:
Nerve cells that fire together, wire together. Therefore, when gangs of neurons are
repeatedly stimulated, they will build stronger, more enriched connections
between each other.”
[…]
[…]
” Nerve cells that continuously fire together, will ultimately wire together”
[…]
Basically, if you are trying to fight the insomnia, you are giving it more power. Don’t fight the insomnia, let it go.
You can read Joe book here:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/15279646/Joe-Dispenza-Evolve-Your-Brain
I will not back in this place, cause someone probably will discredit what I have said, and this can affect me emotionaly. But I know all will be good soon.
See but your in physical pain… What people talk about is emotional. Ok I don’t know what you’re going through emotionally but your physical pain and emotional pain are 2 different things… pain because you can’t sleep is completely different, then the pain you feel when you sit there and cry and start cutting yourself because of how worthless and alone you feel…. js….
Meds and psychologists aren’t the best. Maybee you can read The book of Tao – Translation of J. H. McDonald w w w .duhtao.c o m/translations.h t m l
And The book Evolve your Brain, from Joe Dispensa.
I will cite two parts of the Joe Dispensa book:
[…]
“This concept in neuroscience is called Hebbian learning.
7
The idea is simple:
Nerve cells that fire together, wire together. Therefore, when gangs of neurons are
repeatedly stimulated, they will build stronger, more enriched connections
between each other.â€
[…]
[…]
†Nerve cells that continuously fire together, will ultimately wire togetherâ€
[…]
Basically, if you are trying to fight the insomnia, you are giving it more power. Don’t fight the insomnia, let it go.
You can read Joe book here:
w w w . s cribd.c o m/doc/15279646/Joe-Dispenza-Evolve-Your-Brain
I will not back in this place, cause someone probably will discredit what I have said, and this can affect me emotionaly. But I know all will be good soon.
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