Sui Caedre

suicide is

a permanent solution

to a

temporary problem.

 

you should ask.

i could answer

make everyone laugh.

 

it’d be great if

i could make you think.

make you realize that

suicide

is real.

and people feel it.

and people do it.

and rational consideration-

‘how will this affect others?’

-doesn’t come into play.

 

because pain is

real.

pain can make us do

stupid things

if we’re not

strong enough.

stupid things

like acting on it.

 

it’s an intense need to

escape

coupled with a limited understanding

of what death is

of what death can do

how it can

damage

and not solve anything at all.

 

it’s when you feel

powerless

to change things

hopeless

pointless

futile.

 

you KNOW

people will be hurt

because you did it

but

it doesn’t matter then

it doesn’t register

because

staying alive to keep them reassured-

maintaining, so they won’t have to suffer

while you do…

it’s not enough

to keep you alive.

keep you

here.

 

maybe if you do it

maybe they will realize

you weren’t kidding

when you said you needed help

or when you didn’t

say

a thing

but they could tell

something was wrong

maybe then

they would take you

seriously.

 

it’s the wrong choice

because life isn’t meant to be thrown away

but it doesn’t register

because pain

makes us do stupid things.

some of us aren’t strong

enough.

some of us need to

escape

because it’s getting unbearable

past unbearable.

 

death is silence

after all this chaos

intense chaos.

 

death feels welcomed.

death seems the only way out.

out of this life

because there is no one

nowhere

to turn to.

 

and you want

out.

 

it’s irrational.

just like emotion is irrational.

just like being hurt is.

it’s not logical.

 

we don’t know death.

don’t know what it’s like.

we know life and how much it

hurts

sometimes more than

we can bear.

 

sometimes, we hold on.

hold on to the wrong things

that

kill us

further.

poisonous embrace

to keep you

here.

it hurts

everything hurts.

the pain means you’re alive.

you don’t want the pain.

you don’t want life.

you let go.

it lets go of you.

 

when that happens

death seems like the better side

the greener grass

on the other side.

 

you can’t go back

erase all hope

any chance of

somehow

making it through

bleak, grim and narrow

your future-

you cut it all out.

maybe

just maybe

you could have

made it through

could have been happier

if you had the ability

to hope

beyond reason.

beyond imagination.

beyond circumstance.

 

suicide:

sui caedre

sui, self

caedre, kill

 

suicide:

noun

the killing of oneself.

 

Suicide:

noun

a mistake.

 

(a mistake born from

the inability

to deal with pain.

from not being

strong enough.)

 

suicide:

noun

a

permanent solution

to a

temporary problem.

(A.N. credit to lucy4 from The Suicide Project for the ‘permanent solution/temporary problem’ concept. i would link to the original post if i could find it; right now i can’t be bothered. ‘sui caedre’ is latin for ‘self’ and ‘kill’, from which the word suicide was derived)