Me?
I am a 14 year old girl in the verge of giving up her whole life away. I don’t seem to sound like Amanda Todd or any other teenage obsessed love seeking little *****. But there’s nothing left in my life I can hold on to. Everything around me feels so bland. I don’t tend to have reasons for what I do. There is not purpose left for me. I am tired, and lonely.
I am a child abuse case, ever since I was 9 year old my parents started abusing me. Beating me up to shreds, channel their frustration in me. I lost my best friend due to some pathetic reasons. I have nobody left in my life. I have everything I need. Food, shelter, clothing. But not love from my parents. My dad is a crazy bastard who keeps beating up my mom after coming home for no reason at all. He locks the room and starts beating the crap out of her. When he passes out, my mom starts beating me up. She blames me for all the chaos in our family. Somehow I end up being the reason my parents fight all the time. I tried to be nice to them, but it never works out that way.
My classmates think I am a freak because I try too hard to fit in. They think I am a two faced ***** because I always try to be on both sides of the conversation. My best friend, the only other person I thought I could trust thinks I am a fucking mess, and staying with me will only get her reputation down the drain. I am so tired. I know it all sounds very whiny but somehow I just can’t get the right words to this post. My head is all fuzzy. Everything around me feels too numb right now. Not looking for pity calls, but is there someone out there? just like me? waiting for a miracle to happen?
2 comments
Hi Blood.Orchid 🙂 I’m 14 as well, might sound pretty young to be committing suicide, but whatever. I’m sorry that you’re suffering with child abuse. I’m very, very against child abuse. I’m not abused but my bestfreind’s mom hits her alot. You’re bestfriend isn’t worth it if she’s gonna treat you like shit. And, you don’t sound whiny, you’re just stuggling, that’s all. Most people on this site will be able to relate to you so you’re not alone.
Gumpy
Hi
I don’t know you personally but I feel that this world would be worse without you, so may you think again about going on suicide?
Don’t even think about what your classmates think, classmates tend to be assholes. You’ll probably find someone worth to know, it’s just a matter of time, trust me.
Stay strong and don’t lose hope, life’s usually shit but there are things worth enough for living. Spend time doing what you like, I don’t know, drawing, for example? Enjoy the little things.
A 15 years old