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Being alone…is something deadly easily overlooked by “normal people”

by OddOneOut

All I want…all that I REALLY want…is just someone who wants to talk to me…that’s all I need right now…and there’s just no-one. No-one that wants to, because I’m the weird guy who’s always so negative and annoying.
I have things to share,
But no-one really cares…
Nobody knows me at all.
I got lots of friends.
Yes, but then again…
Nobody knows me at all.

And nobody ever wants to.
I don’t blame them for it. I shouldn’t be bothering people with my problems. They don’t wanna know and they have every right to ignore me.
But I really need someone right now. The girl that I’m in love with would be a nice one to have. But women don’t like that. A guy who’s weak. A guy who’s…human. They want someone that can be their rock, their support. And that’s why I’ll stay single, that’s why I’ll have a hard time with “friends”. Because the world doesn’t want to know about people like me.

You gotta look in the mirror and learn how to put on a smile. To be like everyone else. Because if you’re different, they’ll eat you up. Like a bunch of zombies. If he/she is different in any way…We’ll gang up on them and kill them. Make them into one of us. Why? Because they’re different.
The nail that sticks out will be hammered – Japanese proverb

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23 comments

blahh 1/22/2013 - 8:36 am

you can look at their society and you see its all uniformised theres no genuinity and theyre quite empty i’d say. so i prefer to stand out and definetly no hammering for me. you know what? i did it. I’m me without being normal. I had and have to accept the fact that its not easy nor to be with nor to be me. but still i prefer being me than to adapt to people society whoever. whoever is with me is because they see through me. i wont give that up i wont give my life up because im different. hell no!

blahh 1/22/2013 - 8:40 am

and loneliness? well one gets used to it after a while, specially when you have to accept the fact that the majority will never understand you. and those that seem to wont fully

OddOneOut 1/22/2013 - 9:14 am

It’s normally just like what you said. I normally say “Screw the world, I’m gonna be me.”
But..being in love changes all that. She doesn’t like me because I’m too different. And being in love reminds me of how alone I am, and how alone I’ve been for my entire life…
Normally I can deal with it easily.
But love ain’t a normal thing…

blahh 1/22/2013 - 9:26 am

i agree that love isnt a normal thing it breaks everything you stood up for and you can only see that person. i been in love and not loved back. i promised myself that wouldnt happen again and it didnt. i think that statement said by me to my head changed me in some way.
love will bring you up same way as bring you down so i really cant say much about love all i know is what people will never understand (most of anyway). i know love is worth living no matter what, (ill stand by this statement), but when its gone youre left with nothing just nothing… sometimes even less than nothing and lots of pain.

xylem 1/22/2013 - 9:29 am

People around you always say they are there for you when you need them but as you said the reality is that they don’t want to hear about your problems. They only want to be around you when you are happy and fun.

OddOneOut 1/22/2013 - 9:36 am

Thank you xylem…for finally understanding.

xylem 1/22/2013 - 9:43 am

OddOneOut, you’re welcome. and if you want to talk I’ll listen I’m not scared of problems

blahh 1/22/2013 - 9:59 am

and then they want you back when they are in trouble themselves :/

AscahIsBroken 1/22/2013 - 12:01 pm

I know. People think I’m that morbid emo chick. They don’t really want to talk to me cause they want to be comfortable.
I make them feel uncomfortable, because I talk about things.
I love death metal.
I love the color black.
My poetry depresses them.
So they ignore me.
I said that I was having a bad day,
They say “Can’t you just be happy for once? If you’re so sad, keep it to yourself cause your bringing everyone else down”
I hate it.
I have something so say.
I need help.
I am dying to live.
Cutting to death.
I try to tell them.
But they are disgusted, apathetic, and ignorant.
I can’t scream loud enough because noones listening.

Dave_N 1/22/2013 - 4:18 pm

I guess we’re all a bit ‘unique’ in our own ways and being unique may cause us to be misunderstood by others. I too have had a hard time relating to people. People in general are so shallow and it’s hard to have a meaningful conversation. Also, a lot of people don’t want to hear that you’re having a bad day when they ask you ‘how are you doing?’ They want to hear that you’re doing ‘fine’ even though you may not be.

blacklight915 1/22/2013 - 5:13 pm

To OddOneOut: I’d also love to hear what you have to share. 🙂 I’m sorry she doesn’t love you; I’ve also been in that situation a couple times… 🙁 However, I think what women want in men can actually vary quite a bit–so don’t give up hope.

To blahh: Be sure to acknowledge the people who really want and try to understand you, though. It’s just…they may give up if you don’t… 🙁

To AscahIsBroken: Your poetry is both beautiful and sad. I especially like the lines “I am dying to live. Cutting to death.”

OddOneOut 1/22/2013 - 7:05 pm

I agree with all of you…and like blahh said, they suddenly want you there when THEY have problems and expect you to listen to all their problems and worries.
I do, because I know what it feels like to have all your problems ignored and no-one listens to you…. I don’t want the people I care about to go through that.

I’m happy that I’m not alone. Thanks everyone 🙂

NothingAmI 1/22/2013 - 7:05 pm

Some may get used to the loneliness. It’s corroded my self esteem, made me crazier than I used to be, driven what used to be suicidal fantasies to definite plans. And the only reason I hung on as long as I did is that I thought I’d be able to engineer a satisfying end to my loneliness. I never thought I’d actually end up totally alone. Maybe I didn’t believe anyone did, but it’s been the nail in my coffin.

NothingAmI 1/22/2013 - 7:13 pm

Right, Xylem, OddOneOut–you gotta love how they say they’re there for you, and they want you to get professional help, but when you call on them for support all the excuses pop up. These are the same people who argue they’d be emotionally devastated for the rest of their lives if we committed suicide. “Get professional help” really is their way of saying, “good riddance.”

I once listened as a nurse friend of mine talked about an acquaintance who’s depressed. My friend said, “I don’t talk to her much because you can’t let those people drag you down with them.” My friend doesn’t know I’m depressed, and what a confirmation of what I’ve always suspected that assertion was.

sunflower 1/22/2013 - 7:19 pm

sorry for just popping into your converstaion but i completely agree… my best friend was there with me through thick or thin and this past month she said i was dragging her and everyone else down and didnt want to hangout or be around me anymore… they ask if youre ok but they dont want the answers and dont want to hear your struggles :/

OddOneOut 1/22/2013 - 11:13 pm

I try to get over it, be back to who I normally am…
But she’s in many of my classes and sits next to me in one (I’m in that class RIGHT NOW)
So beautiful that I don’t deserve her and she doesn’t even want me…Yet I can’t help wanting her.

Soroxen 1/22/2013 - 11:32 pm

I know how that feels, one-sided love, and the fact that you feel like you’re an annoyance to everyone….or maybe that’s just me….People are such hypocrites. They say that they’ll always be there for you and that you can “rant” to them, however, when you do muster up the courage to open up to them, they take your words and use them against you. Believe me, I just dealt with this kind of bullshit today, and it really does make me believe that I’m a “misanthrope” (I learned that in school last week haha) anyways, don’t give up hope. Coming from a girl, although it’s true that we like having a “rock” as a boyfriend, we also prefer to have a genuine one as well. Personally speaking, I’m not big on appearance; as long as you try to clean yourself up, then you’re fine. I mostly care about personality….and height. I refuse to date anyone shorter than me (then again I’m super tall for a girl, 5’10”) anywho back to you, don’t give up! Try giving hints that you like her, and if she has a brain and figures it out, if she’s interested she’ll show signs back! And last thing, everyone here is commenting because they care (including me) so don’t feel alone. Loneliness is the worse feeling ever, I’m here for you if you ever need a friend 🙂

OddOneOut 1/23/2013 - 12:19 am

haha 5″10…good luck 🙂
I’m Asian…everyone’s pretty much short here haha
People tell me that they can’t imagine me with a girl, and I kind of agree with them…there’s no-one who’s going to look right next to a guy like me.
Soroxen, if you don’t mind me saying…I want to get to know you a little more.
email me if you wouldn’t mind: bkim1@brentsubic.edu.ph

MichelleJ 1/23/2013 - 5:05 am

Honestly this world is fuckeds! I’m hammering you into humankind right now… Bang bang! There. Because the truth? You’re a human! No matter what any dog says or thinks of you. Weak people and strong people, both are human. That’s my proverb.

MichelleJ 1/23/2013 - 5:09 am

To Blahh:
I know the eaact thing you’re talking about! I fucking hate society, and since some peoplewho’re a part of that shit, know this, they hate me too. I for example, am allowed to make changes to my life to improve it. But here’s the irony. If these certain people don’t approve of my improvements, then my changes aren’t for the better. For whom? For the people wanting me to change, or for me? But hang on, in their mind I was meant to make changes to improve my life, and then they’re saying that my life changes aren’t allowed if they don’t like them. Um, sorry! But to burst said people’s bubble, I will improve my life however I wish, whether said you lot like it or not.

Blahh, I totally see where you’re coming from, I don’t make changes to please nobody anymore, I just stick it out knowing I’m going to die one day anyway. I go with the attitude that if I can survive for longer than the person next to me, then I’m doing something right. As for the people who genuinely need help but ccan’t survive because they’re not getting it, I feel really sad for them. And I hope your life gets better, at least I hope you find a supportive person who actually wants to be concerned about you.

MichelleJ 1/23/2013 - 5:15 am

Xylem,

I agree with you! Can I add something? People who say they’re there for you really mean that they couldn’t give a fuck about you, they just don’t want to say it. Eeeeeeuuuu that’s disgustingly sickening… Now all I want to do is never talk to another person again.

MichelleJ 1/23/2013 - 5:22 am

To humankind:
Fuck off I hate you!

To hte commentors and most others on SP:
You’re more caring than the other fucks out there, thanks for stopping me from killing myself these past three weeks.

NothingAmI 1/25/2013 - 6:41 pm

{{MIchelleJ}}

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