I have always been an upbeat person; the type who keeps a positive attitude towards living. Since I was ten years old I have had HIV. Even though I still try to stay positive about it, physically I am starting to feel very fatigued and tired this year. Some part of me really just wants to let the disease win and let nature take its course. I have been fighting this disease for almost twenty years, and am exhausted. Currently I am on a large scholarship for doctoral research in bioremediation and my life is full of promise. Unfortunately, I don’t feel I have the energy left in me to continue on with my research and just want to rest. I know this is not what my spouse, family, and friends would want. Â I just think all the fight has been zapped out of me.
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2 comments
Bro, my dad died when i was 6, he had HIV, you have everything to continue your life and enjoy every single moment with your loved ones, maybe you just need a rest, and think of this life, enjoy it, im sure you still can.
I absolutely still enjoy life and love living. Thanks for the reply. This is less emotional and more about how I feel physically that spurs on the sort of thoughts like, “I can’t do this anymore.” I do need to take a break from school/work and see how I feel after a sabbatical. My t-count has been consistently borderline the last year between HIV & AIDS.
Also, I am a woman. Not a bro. 🙂