My Story.

Hi, I suffer from Manic Depression . Not many in my school know that. They think i’m happy, maybe even normal teenage girl. I’m 14. But this is were it all started.
When I was little, I was always the “troubled” child. My parents would curse at me , call me a “retard” , “slut” “whore” all different types of names when I just was two years of age. It wasn’t only the names… my mom was a drunk and my dad wasn’t so much of a help either, she would hit me, with all sorts of things, whatever she could get her hands on. One day, she was mad at me and my sister, and all she could find is a hammer and she threw it at  my head, and if it weren’t for my older sister, I wouldn’t be here today.  My dad, that was a different story, for his weapons were his hands, he would grab me by my hair at time and throw me down the stairs like I was a rag doll, like I was nothing. I felt like nothing. He would grab me by my throat , slam me against the wall , spit in my face, and when I would try to run and hide, I would get it worse, he would swing at me, knocking me unconscious at times, or leaving me with black eyes, or a busted lip.  My mom when she got drunk, she would leave me & my 3 other siblings alone, all in the house and go off and do drugs and prostitute.  When I was 4 I was sexual abused, by a Family member, I don’t want to go into details, because I don’t think anyone would want to remember that, but my parents blamed me for it. They still do till this day, they blame me for everything. As I grew up the abusing got worse. Then something I really never told anybody, I turned to guys for attention. I thought maybe if I let them get there way a little bit, I would be noticed a little more. I never did intercourse with them, I was young 9-12,13. I would just perform oral with them. It was nice to be wanted for once, but that wasn’t the way. So I did with 8 or 9 guys or so. I regret it all . Then it all changed when I moved out of that house, one day me and my sister were cleaning our room and we had put a trash bag out side our door, by our dads door and he came upstairs and started to freak out. He grabbed me and my sister by our hair, and threw us down the stairs, began to beat on us and then him and my sister got into a fist fight and crap, and then we ran outside, together, the dog bit her, I practically had to carry her all the way to the nearest store, they called an ambulance and her wound was token care of . Me and her got brought to the police station and made police reports and then this really nice lady from child protection services came in to talk to me and my sister and we told her out story and we went home with our grandparents that night, I went with my dads parents, my sister went with my moms parents. My mom tried so hard that day to get me sent away to a girls home, but not my sister, just me… she didn’t care. So when I went to there house, I went to a new school and everything changed I had more respect for my body and everything.  6th grade was horrible, kids would call me names, but I would just do it back, 7th grade, I moved back and forth between houses with my grandma to my moms , but I ended up staying with my grandma, I failed 7th, and im glad I did. 🙂 That summer of 2011, I met this boy, fell for him instantly, but I stole him from my best friend. I felt bad, but it felt so good to call him mine atleast at the same time(:  at first me and him didnt work out so well, he went back and forth between me and a couple of other girls, it hur