I thought that having a crush was normal. It is, but it’s not when that person is all that you think about. You dream about them. You daydream constantly about them saying that they like you the same way you like them. These things aren’t normal. I think I’m just fucking going insane. Trevor is honestly the only thing I can think about. He’s my safe haven, in a way. I focus on him instead of focusing on how much pain I’m in. I guess it might be normal, but it doesn’t feel that way. I don’t want to go crazy. I don’t want to […]
March 2013
I see how all the teen girls are killing themselves. And I’m scared that i might accidentally kill myself well to be honest i wish someone would kill me right now or i wish i could die from cancer which i might have because i have a brain tumor I’m just waiting for the neuro surgeon to tell me if i have cancer or not. I’m hoping so. But at t the sane times i want kids and i have so much love for other people. I’m a living girl but I’ve had lots of things that have happened to me I’m i guess […]
so i cut agen
so the blood spild
so sorry for the red stanes on the bed
so sorry for brane for the lack of the red stuff the you live on
so sorry for the day
for all the decay
for all the pane
i whant it to stop but it whont
ther seems to be a lump in my trote
iv given in on the doctors notes
for the weekly perscripshion
for the stuff i live on
and the illegul dope
so sorry bout me geting bulled
so sorry for the harasmant and pane
im SORRY! for the wong ansers
im SORRY! for my mined is els were
IM SORRY FOR I CAN NOT LAUGH ANEY MORE NOT EVEN ON LIFES […]
I won’t share my personal drama, since I’m sure most of you have enough with your own shit and I find it pointless to vomit a self-indulgent wall of text which screams “my life is shittier than yours”. I simply want to share this suicide-related issue and see if any of you are going through similar stuff and how you’ve dealt with it. Please refrain from posting “at least you have friends”-style crap.
I’ve already planned my suicide, even saved money for all the stuff that is required when someone dies (funeral and that stuff), and I’m always writting suicide notes telling everyone that this is […]
i am broken inside and out…….. i try to be happy but no matter how much i try i can’t seem to be happy i am always in pain and misery. i sit in the corner waiting for someone to save me and bring me to life …… to make me happy again and play with me …. but no one seems to want to play with a broken and used doll who has been torn and hurt so many times! so i just wait and wait and the days go by and no ones seems to want to help… no one seems to […]
every time i try to be happy it always ends up in a disaster
i have always been bullied all my life ever since i was a little girl. i am 15 now and i am still being Put down by others because i dress different and my way of thinking is different than others. i can’t seem to fit in ….. i mean i don’t want to fit in its great to be different but the insults and rumors …. and THE lies are what hurt me. all i ever wanted, was for my life to be different and… for me to be happy. […]
Let us take a walk, follow me to the edge of this building. The climb up here
was very tough wasn’t it? Did you say a hundred flights to the top? I guess the
elevator is still out of order than? I have been up here for a long time. I’ve
been looking down at this city. Don’t worry we can’t fall off from this ledge.
I’ve fallen enough times in my life, once more wouldn’t be so bad anyway. I
didn’t mean to trouble you my friend. Are you cold? It can be chilly out here
exposed to the world. Here take my coat. […]
Im new here so im just going to start with family, as they say family comes first.
The 11th of november 1995 was the day I was brought into this world. Being 2 hours born and taken away from my parents by a case worker. They say it was for the best, she was a drug addict aswell as an alcoholic and she couldnt look after herself or even support herself so how could she look after me? So I was taken away and put into a foster home not even a day old and straight into a complete strangers house. I obviously didnt know what was going […]
I’m sitting in Spanish class right now And just can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how, but I will be dead by midnight tonight. I have the worst friends and barely any. Everyone else goes out of their way to make me wanna die. I just want to make them all feel terrible. I want everyone, to regret how they treated me. If I’m still alive, I won’t have gained respect. I’m gonna end it tonight.
I feel like I’m in a tug of war between life and death. I’ve given up and now I’m just watching the days go by. What am I waiting for? because I don’t want to live. I want to wake up with a smile on my face, get ready in a good mood, breathe easy and walk happily to my death.. I don’t want to feel fear or guilt or sorrow.
When I think of the countless number of people who have taken their lives since the beginning of man and the men and women who take their lives every year – it makes me […]
Life has often been compared to a free-flowing body of water, …a river if you may, but what can one do if they cannot go with the flow and do not know how to swim?
This is my situation right now, I feel like I am being stranded… drowned…. left behind by the world around me. By my few friends and family… I know that my lack of social skills and shyness have contributed to that, but still I try to get along with people. However, I am slowly losing hope.
I am a failure, I have not finished college, I have recently lost a job last year, and […]
On this website I have enjoyed reading what so many of you bravely share. Frankly, many of you seem smarter than the folks that I encounter in real life. You are deep thinkers, well read and probably smarter than me. I’m afraid to ask anyone in the real world. But I’m curious about what you think.
So, here goes: does the World3 simulator seem realistic in it’s forecast of trends? Sometimes I wonder if World3 explains our depression (maybe deep down we […]
It doesn’t hurt to grow up poor. It doesn’t hurt when your daughter is born with medical problems. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your father died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your step-father died. It doesn’t hurt when you sacrifice happiness for duty. It doesn’t hurt having your dog put down. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your grandmother died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your “other†mother died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your uncle died. It doesn’t hurt when you sacrifice happiness for others. It doesn’t hurt watching others destroy what you built. It […]
I am tired of studying, I’m tired of working, paying my bills, doing the dishes, crossing the street. I am tired of my morning coffee. I am tired of making small talk while watching your fake face smiling at me. I’m tired of all the mundane little inconveniences of being alive… I am tired of doing the laundry, reading books, brushing my hair, I am tired of caring, smiling, pretending and all the other symptoms of life…. my ears are going deaf listing to your lies and my lies, my eyes are going blind from you betrayals and my betrayals. Stop,,, I want it all […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
Hello, I’ve been lurking around this site for quite awhile now. Obsessively reading every post. I know I spelled serotonin in my username wrong, unfortunate really. Anyways, it’s 4:43 am where I live and I can’t sleep so I decided to post my experience with suicide attempts. I am not good with dates so it will be a unspecific measurement like a year ago or in January. I will be going into specific suicide techniques so…spoiler alert.
When I was young everything was easy for me. Sports, I was a natural, school was easy never had […]
hey im new at this im gonna be straight foward now im not good at spelling or punctuation so just stay with me
ive always had the feeling of committing suicide but always ignored it,till just recently when a ex student from our school killed himself.i dont why or what but from him doing it i got a sense that it was socially accepted some how…
so i started daydreaming about where and when to do it what my parents would say or do.how life around me would be and it hit me no one would really care eveyrone would just get on with life.but recently my […]
I hate my kind.
I hate their faces, their ignorant smiles. I’ve grown to hate them indisciminatly. What the fuck is wrong with those people? Hollow minds inside puppets made to walk with rotten strings. Let yourself fall into the bliss of mindless simplicity. Almost life a hivemind, brainwashed and seemingly happy with it.
Go with the crowd or fall with the trash.
I do not claim to be a saint nor have my 21 years of existence given me enough experience in the way of life, but is it just me or everything seems so twisted. What happened to sincerity, kindness, generosity? All those concepts are almost […]
So lately I’ve been feeling like I’m useless..it feels like everything I do is not good enough. I just want to leave this world. I think It would be better without me here. I need someone to talk to but I have a hard time opening up to people. Last time I opened up to someone they showed me why I don’t open up to people. I’m tired of crying every night. I just want to end the pain. I’m hurt, depressed, angry. I just want it to all go away. Everything is tooo much. I’m 15 in highschool and im failing all my […]