well, here I am, 15, a pothead, a whore, doesn’t have anything to praise or look forward to after life. I’m all kinds of fucked up, I was always put last to 4 other brothers and sisters. I was raised by drug addicts and alcoholics and it’s  my fault I turned out like this when I was never told aanything different. I was never told about the danger of sex and drugs, I was raised by people who abused all of it, and I’m  the shitty one in the bunch?  Ha. You’re all so ignorant! If  you never wanted me to be so  horrible, maybe better role  models would have been nice! Don’t role blunts in front of me and expect me to stay away from weed, don’t get stupid drunk in front of me and expect me to touch a bottle, don’t expect Mr to stay away from sex when I was never given advice about it. Don’t expect me to not hate my life a ft tee its been fucked up because you neglected me, don’t expect me to pull the trigger with out any anticipation that I know what I’m doing. I want to die all because of this shit life you give me. I have no one to talk to, no one to very to, I have no one. I don’t believe In “God” because simply “God” never did anything for me. “He gave you life” no, these drunken idiots over here for got to wrap it before he tapped it, heard it my whole life, I know I was a mistake. If this so called “God” has such a great plan for me, why is my life shit? Why is it that I have no faith in him for me to change and have a great life story, why am I put on earth with nothing to live for? Why am I so unhappy with everything if everything should turn out how I want them? Ha, life is just a huge puzzle with missing peices, you get irritated and just throw it all away.Â
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I’ve felt like throwing my life away many times, even tried once and failed. Your life indeed sucks right now. I hear you. But you’re 15 with many years ahead in which to outgrow your beginnings. Perhaps look to a role model teacher, preferably female and straight so you feel safe sexually. Keep looking for someone you can talk to who will listen, someone you can respect. The fact that you realize that your parents are not good role models is a great sign that you can think for yourself and grow beyond them.
Hang in there. You don’t need a God to have faith in YOU.
Most sportsmen/women have trainers that help them achieve success without which they wouldn’t win anything. As with life, if you had been brought in a better environment you might feel differently about life. There’s no guarantee, lots of people from those backgrounds end up on here too. On average we live for around 80 years. Even though, psychologically you think your contemporaries had first run, you didn’t get the chances they had, over the long distance you can make up the ground if good enough. We all look for excuses, but they are never the right ones; they are just the ones that are most apparent. There are lots of people from underprivileged backgrounds who come through if they want it enough and are prepared to work hard. You can’t change the past and aren’t in a position to change your surroundings yet. Bide your time and stay focused. If later in life you get to the front and realise it wasn’t as satisfying as you imagined, you’ll know the problem lied elsewhere all along.
Sounds like you have a lot of things fighting against you. But there’s 2 things you have that you can use – fire and passion. It’s up to you what you do with it, but no one can take it away
Hi. I feel your pain. badness happens and sometimes we just have to deal with it. it mkes us more resolute. The past is the past. You can never change it. But ahead of you is 60 years of life. Do you want to use it? If so you have to move on. You need to say goodbye to your shtty past and move on. I did. This is life. If you are it is you who are the winner. You beat everyone who has put you down. Please, try it. Try it at least once. The pain you feel now you will forget in the future. Count your blessings. You may not realise them, but health, intelligence and life are more than many have. I know this know. I pray you never do.
Thanks. It feels great to have someone listen or in this case read and understand how I’m feeling. Not a lot of people can understand someone with problems, but it seems like you do.(:
Your still very young and have boundless potential. If you don’t feel your parents have the right approach, it’s not their fault; like you the probably don’t know any better. You just have to break the circle. It’s difficult but that’s life. There’s no pressure, nothing ever turns out as we hope or expect. It’s more about making the best of what you have and your mind is still unique. No one can inhibit your creativity and desire to experience new things.
I’m not trying to ruffle any feathers here, but smoking pot and having sex doesn’t sound too bad. I think that I understand it’s not how you want things. THAT part does suck.
The toughest part is identifying ours problems. I agree with the others’ responses especially one_day: you got fire and passion. Plus you want to make changes. I’m optimistic I think you can do it and refine things to more like you want them.
This story kinda hit home the only difference is I come from a strict home. My parents wanted me to be a perfect catholic man I never did fit the mold. At 13 I started smoking pot by 15 I was selling by 16 I was snorting anything I could get my hands on. I had sex any girl that was willing anything to make me feel good. And now im finally realizing I dont need these things to feel good, I quit drugs but alcohol is still a everyday struggle. Keep the faith some days I just wanna end it all at 15 you got time im 18 and does eventually get better. You gotta face you demons before they eat you alive.