Hi..i’m a 16 year old girl and i really don’t know where to begin..
but I will begin by saying i’m suicidal and under a lot of depression…
the cutting has temporarily stopped, but when I get the urge to do it..nothing can stop me.. I will cut myself with anything and everything…
i used bobby pins, box cutters, scissors, knives, plastic, dried up paint, rocks, needles, safety pins…you name it ; I’ve used it..
I had to undergo therapy for it when my mom finally noticed..but it’s all a bunch of bullshit..
nobody really cares if you’re alive or not. and once you die, everybody starts faking like they miss you.. i’ve been cutting for about 5 years now.
and i really can’t find a reason as to why i do it…i just do..
my anger , fear and depression take over my whole body and it’s as if I’m not myself.. i just start cutting nonstop until the blood drips down my arms and legs and suddenly i feel better
. I’m happy.. i turn into the same person i was the day before..
each and everyday i find it more and more difficult to cope. .
I feel weak.. i used to be able to hold back the pain when i was aroumd people; now i can’t even do that.. i have to scratch myself until I bleed or bite my lip until i bleed…as soon as i am home alone i cry.. i don’t know what to do to stop myself from being depressed when i don’t know why i am depressed in the first place
):
3 comments
where might this anger,fear and depression be brought about in you? you said you don’t know about the depression and it’s not any of my business to even ask, but sometimes it can help talking about it or try and find a solution.
i sometimes think the depressed person just can’t find someone to relate to on something they think or feel inside so they keep it locked away and stay depressed because of it, but i’m not saying all people with that illness does that, it’s just a personal theory.
like, my depression stems from coming out of a terrible illness, which still hasn’t fully gone away, and might actually be coming back to torture me some more if i don’t get on meds or something soon, if i don’t kill myself first.
I tried talking about it and it just makes me even more depressed to bring it back up..
I really do not know what is causing it, and if I were to talk about it.. I wouldn’t know where to start..
Meds should help. . remember feelings last seconds, actions last forever
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don’t do something that will affect you or people around you for feelings that will go away sooner or later
“I had to undergo therapy for it when my mom finally noticed..but it’s all a bunch of bullshit.. Nobody really cares if you’re alive or not. And once you die, everybody starts faking like they miss you..”
That is SO true.