I got to me great aunt’s house yesterday, the same time that a guy who looked like he was in college was there. Apparently, he was Katelynn’s boss and best friend. He was giving Katelynn’s violin to my aunt, obviously, I was confused since Katelynn didn’t play violin. At least I didn’t think she did. She played violin. She was in 4 recitals. She had a job. And I never had any idea. I didn’t know that every time she came home late was because she’d been working part-time to buy a violin. I didn’t know she was actually a junk artist, and I don’t mean her art was bad, she took people’s trash and made sculptures out of it! She was a thousand things and more that I never knew about.
And then I met her boyfriend. Since I can’t really explain what happened well, I’ll just write what I remember. Bold is him, italics is me.
“Do you know why she killed herself?” I started crying after I said this.
“About fucking time she died anyways.” Don’t get angry yet.
“What?! You assh*le!” I said more than that, but it was just swearing and anger, so no need to write that.
“You don’t even know do you? She was trying for 6 fucking years! Don’t you think she deserved to leave after that long? Or are you so selfish you’d rather keep her in her misery?”
Yes. That shut me up pretty quickly. According to him, she was trying since 10 years old. And then he went on to add this:
“And it was your fault too! Every time. Every time she was waiting for you to say something to your parents! To defend her from them! And all she wanted, was for you to be her fucking family, even though your parents failed!”
I just… I completely broke down. I never knew anything about Katelynn. I’m just like the rest of them. Standing and crying for a girl who never existed. He blamed me, I blamed my parents, my parents blamed her, and Katelynn blamed herself. I don’t blame myself, but I can’t get over how insensitive I was. Who did I think I was? Pretending I knew her well enough to think she didn’t care what they said. Of course she cared! Anyone would care! So why did I think Katelynn didn’t?
So that’s what I learned about Katelynn in the past two days. Not much to sum up.