Well..I am 27 years old. I feel cold inside, like I have no emotions or tears left. My heart feels like it has a large hole in it. I seriously have no friends or no one to talk to. All I ever do is work & stay home. I live in a country side of Alabama & nothing makes me happy anymore. I have thought about killing myself a few times but I know if I do then I will go straight to hell. But on the other hand, It feels like this life on earth is hell. I play guitar & drums for almost all of my life, and I do not even find joy in that anymore. I am not ugly, I am very clean cut type of guy but it just seems my life is empty. I feel I have no purpose on this life. I do wished I was dead. I feel I would be better off dead. I really enjoy helping other people & having reading some of these posts by other people really breaks my heart. But I do know how you all feel. I work two jobs, One as a Armed Security Officer & I am a part time Police Officer. Sounds great right? Wrong! I am so miserable in my life…if there is a God, then I really wished he would come back soon. I just wished I could find joy, happiness, something that will full fill my emptyness. A couple of years back, I would just sit in my room and cry and cry and cry for hours. And now, I barely can cry anymore..Maybe I ran out of tears? No one in my family likes me, and I do not even believe anyone likes me. I just really wished I would have never been born. I wished I was dead and be better off dead.
I found this site on accident..so maybe getting my feelings out to someone that may actually care, may help…who knows. Anyway..goodnight all