alone once again

You feel ugly and unwanted because you never got the affirmation you needed growing up. Or perhaps the individuals you depended on, father or parents didn’t love you enough or worse they told you that you were ugly and were abusive towards you.

That would be my guess as to why you feel this way now. Your escapism into drugs and alcohol is to avoid confronting those difficult feelings that you carry with you about yourself and maybe dealing with your past. I’m merely guessing at this point but I hope I’m on the right track and that my advice has been helpful.

There was a time I looked good and could’ve dated anyone I wanted, but I always felt unattractive. I think it was a complexity of various issues I was dealing with. It’s quite sad when someone has so much potential and they waste it because they unable to overcome the problems that plague them.

Don’t get me wrong, I did date numerous women but it was never who I really wanted to date or something would go wrong or I’d do something to eff up the relationship. There were plenty more girls-dream girls to me I could’ve dated but my insecurity, personal torment, depression and other problems kept me from getting them.

Now in my early 40s my head is much clearer but my age has become my anchor-I see why they say beauty is wasted on the young. I wish you the best in overcoming your challenges hun.

On a positive note there is one beautiful girl who I care about and who cares about me, but currently we’re not in the right situation to date. But just the fact that I know she wants me makes it worthwhile and I’m hoping in the future things will change in our favor so we can be together.