chains

Sounds like me. I stopped living life around 2 years ago because I felt safer to just isolate myself and waste away rather than risk running into more of the same defeats and heartbreaks.

It’s easy to understand how to break the cycle, at least on paper. If you can convince yourself of all the things like “the only useful thing to do with regrets is to learn from them, take whatever lesson can be taken from it, and move on with the new information”. These ideas all make sense, but easier said than done.

Ultimately it’s self defeating anyway. Refusing to live life because we are scared of what might happen or sick of it never turning out right, means we lose anyway. Forfeiting a game that you are scared to lose counts as a loss anyway.

Trying to avoid the pain of life and relationships and disappointments has just led to the pain of a life of isolation and no motivation and being miserable. Traded one type of misery for another.

But for me that’s why there’s no motivation to try. It’s all pain in the end. None of the multiple choices ever lead to happiness. If I try, I hurt, if I don’t try, I hurt. Logically then I take the path of least resistance. If my life is going to suck I’m going to let it suck with the least amount of effort put into it.

Maybe someone smarter than me would look at that with a different perspective, if it’s all going to hurt no matter what, then you might as well make an effort, let go of your past and get back out there and try again, at least you’ll know you tried, maybe it will go differently this time. If you’re trapped outside in the freezing cold, you can either sit still and die or you can risk dying while you walk around and try to find help. At least making an effort means you might get lucky.