I’m sick and tired of being alive. Give me a reason not to die. And please, that reason can’t be “Things get better” etc. All of that is bullshit. I don’t believe in that.
I’ve been said things like “You can’t love others if you can’t even love yourself”. I have just a few friends, but none of them understands how I feel. Everyone but one person. She’s like my last reason to be alive. She has suffered a lot more than me, but she takes the time to listen to my problems. One day I know I will lose her. One day I know she will leave, and I don’t know what am I going to do without her.
I hate everyone in my school because all of them talk to me when they need something, and I can’t say no, because for a moment I feel like I exist. I don’t trust in my parents. My mom works all day and my dad is never home. I’m very shy, ugly, nerd, etc. I feel I’m alone. Everyone says that I’m not, that I have lots of friends that care. That’s not true. Not a single one of them cares for mi. I feel alone. Like I should have never been born. I’m not good at anything but school. And that’s not something. I haven’t even gotten far in love. I’ve never had a girlfriend. No one has ever had any interest in me. I’m growing desperate and suicidal. The reason I haven’t done it already is because I’m a coward.
I began cutting like 6 months or so, and it helps me relieve the pain. But that’s it. That’s all I can do. Somebody please, help me. Thanks for taking your time for reading this.
6 comments
I feel you man. The bullshit anti suicide rhetoric doesn’t resonate with me one bit, and I’m good at nothing but school either. I feel like I’m even losing this though, as my emotional state continues to worsen.
The only rational reason to not kill yourself is the possibility of a failed attempt, which is very likely in this age of suicide prohibition. Mix this with the survival instinct and societal brainwashing and conditioning, and it’s no wonder there are so many of us on this site.
I am right with you. I feel worthless, people try to comfort me. But, i love you, i miss you, and im sorry all have 8 letters. SO does bullshit. Try to think about your friend, she probably feels the same about you as you feel about her. There are always those people who will care. I’m not sure if I helped, but we can’t all go before we are due. We’ll die sooner or later anyway right? Why does it have to be now. I wont judge if you do though. I want to, but I don’t because I realize SOMEONE out there will care. Someone cares.
remember theres always someone worse off i guess, think what thatll do to the girl, if your a guy and this girl has some sort of feelings for you but you may be too blind to see it, i hate to say it but try going the other way for abit, go out, go to parties, get drunk, try drugs, it may help balance school with social life and you may feel better, believe you dont notice no ones ever home because your not either but to be honest id rather be smart and have a good future ahead education wise than stupid with nothing but fake friends and expensive drugs you have to do awful things to get the money for
No. She has no feelings towards me, and me neither. She’s my best friend. That’s it. But she’s the reason that keeps me alive day after day. She makes me smile everyday.
Man I am right with you. People only come to me for advice and crap. You’re not alone, all of us people who go through this are just to spread out. And if this girl is all that’s keeping you alive, then before you lose her, you gotta find a reason to stay alive, more then one, because something’s gonna happen and it’s gonna be gone. Someone cares about you and needs you. And it’s not cowardice, it’s hope. Hope that if you don’t die tonight, something will come and light up your way in the future. Trust me, that same thing happens to me every single freaking night. I recommend doing whatever makes you happy.
We’re all here for you, websites like this is for people like us who either share our story or give a last note, or take the step to get help from people you don’t know, because people you do know won’t look at you the same
Whenever someone says “don’t worry, it gets better”, i want to punch them.
when? when does it get better?
and i have a good reason not to kill yourself. a girl named rachel came to our church sometimes (im not religious but my mom is) and she was kinda shy. we didn’t talk a lot but we spoke a few times and she seemed sweet.
the other day, she went skiing with her dad. she was going too fast and she ran into a tree. she had a helmet on but there was internal bleeding to her head and she died. she died at age 12. when i found out, i started crying. we had only spoken a few times, but she was a living, breathing person with a smile and a heartbeat. and now she isnt.
you may think nobody cares, but if you died, you would affect everyone who’s met you.
you are a living, breathiing person with a smile and a heartbeat. if you no longer had that, i would be affected. your parents would be affected. that girl who met you three times and spoke to you twice? heartbroken.
i know how it feels to feel like no one cares, but i promise if you died, it would affect so many people.