Anxiety. Depression. Panic Attacks. Two years ago I fell into a deep, deep depression where I could think about nothing but ending it. That’s what I wanted most. I lost ALL of my friends by pushing them away with my constant depression and negativity. Things started getting better, or so I thought. Maybe I was just too busy to notice my anxiety. Maybe it never went away. All I know is when my panic attacks start back up, they are getting more and more intense. Much worse than in the past. At least then I had more self control to try to keep busy and productive and keep my mind off of things…but now I AM busy and productive, and I’m still getting these horrible thoughts back. I find no joy or happiness in anything. Things that I used to enjoy just feel like a drag. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep on this charade before it gets too real and I do end it. I’m just tired of feeling this way. I wish there was a way for me to not feel or think like this. I find myself talking to others who are thinking of suicide as an option, and I try talking them out of it. Is that wrong? Helping others with their depression and anxiety? Being a shoulder for them to cry on because nobody else will listen to them? I mean, does that make it wrong for one suicidal person to listen and try to help out another? I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore. I just really wish I wasn’t here. I know that absolutely nothing can help me. I already know that my fate will be from my own hand.
4 comments
It’s not wrong. Not wrong at all. It’s the same for me. You help others. How could that be wrong?
I agree, it’s not wrong. I think we are more open-minded to suicide. We’ve looked at it and examined it, so we have some kind of basic understanding with other suicidal people. We have different reasons and needs, but we understand that want to die. So our advice may seem more genuine.
its not wrong at all. I actually take advice seriously when it comes from someone who is or has gone thru the same. because they know what its like to be in my shoes. So keep helping others and maybe that could be the way to help yourself.
I wish there was someone I could talk to and they could encourage to keep going on this crazy trip life is
Don’t you just hate having the right answers to help others in the same situation but you can’t apply them in your own life?, I’m going through the same thing. It’s not like I don’t know what I need to to do, but the will to do it is not there.