Simple events cause downward spirals of pain and hopelessness. 45 years old and nothing to show…a complete loser and let down to everyone that knows me. It’s too late. People who say its never too late don’t know the pain, the challenges, the guilt, the shame. Maybe its not too late, but it feels like it.
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It dosent take much for me to hit rock bottom either. Feels bad when I am there but somehow I get back up and keep going even when I dont want to.
Feel the same way, same 45 and nothing, feel like a total loser and feel the same way when someone tells me thing will get better, just don’t believe in it anymore, just too much pain inside
you are so right i am 45 and i have totally messed up my life too old, its like arriving at a marathon two hours late, what is the point?
I’m 41, but other than that, I could have written this post.
I already know the pattern. In a few days (hopefully…and not weeks or months) I’ll feel a little better, will manage to continue living, only knowing that somewhere, sometime, SOMETHING will happen and I’ll be right back here. What’s the point? Who wants to live like this? My family having to deal with me. It’s painful to see what I put them thru. I already know the pattern. I’ve been on this roller coaster for years. About time to get off
I’m intrigued by your name prisonbound. Sounds like we have a lot in common. Hopefully I don’t end up in prison tho, I don’t think I’d survive it.
Because I feel that’s all that I’m worthy of. Being in prison. Because that’s what it feels like in my mind…trapped in a prison only I can understand. Because being in prison, I might as well be dead….
I am living in my own prison also, hence my user name. My sincerest sympathies to you, prisonbound. 🙁
Thank you. Same to you
I am 42 and have been depressed for more of my life than not. I know the older I get I see the few blessings I had starting to fade. Why would things change or get better now? As you all said I have moments when I believe and shortly thereafter reality hits and I sink deeper because every effort to persevere feels a kick in teeth when I could sit on my arse and have the same results without insult to injury.
I feel this way now. Why bother keep trying? for what? for the ONE day of a month when I MIGHT feel good? Not even worth it anymore. I have no control. It’s pointless
I totally understand and don’t have an answer. Other than that for some reason I always see more in others than myself. I do feel the exact same way. In used to think if people understood the extent of the pain they could or would help. I am so wrong, it scares people and they prefer not acknowledge the reality of it. Best wishes for some peace.
I’m 45 and see no future as well, depressed most of my life but resently I’ve reached the bottom with little to no hope of life improving for me and I don’t want to be 46,47,48….I just want it to end.
I am in my forties and completely agree.
I never thought I would be this age and so undone.
I fucking hate what has happened