I woke up at 3:30 am jolted out of a sleep. All I could see was my boyfriend stabbing himself in the arms, blood splatter, tears rolling down his face. All of this because he loves me . A bad fight because I don’t trust him– a recovering drug addict who promised rehab but bailed and never went. I feel guilty, helpless. Was told to practice tough love and to cut the codependent role. The codependent in me feels responsible for what he did. The tough-love person feels manipulated. Regardless of those two opposing forces, he entirely blames me for driving him to kill himself. Do I reach out to him or is this an act of finality? What do you say to someone who does this? These images won’t stop replaying through my mind.
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3 comments
Its going to be tough, but you need to leave him alone. The simple fact that he’s blaming you is manipulation in itself. You aren’t the cause of his problems. You tried to be there for him, and instead he’s projecting his problems onto you. That’s not healthy for you or him. You won’t be able to get through it if you keep putting yourself back in the same situation.
Thank you. I can see the logic in your advice. I appreciate your support. I’m so thankful that he didn’t succeed and I hope he never tries it again, I hope he finds peace. I hope these nagging images fade away.
In time it will fade, not completely, but to a manageable level. I’m glad he didn’t succeed as well. I hope things start to get better for you, but if you need to vent, or talk, don’t hesitate to talk here. There’s good people here.