You stood there, stood there and start to slowly back away,
You said that those close to you didn’t think that speaking to me was healthy, that it had thrown your thoughts into disarray.
It’s not worth the trouble or the heartache they told you,
And somehow you decided that it was true.
“There is no reason to stay as she’ll never see things clearly.”
With this you pacified yourself, never seeing that it might cost you dearly.
I stood there, stood there forgotten and alone.
You had said that my stubbornness was something that you could no longer condone,
But stubbornness had never been the problem.
In order to reach you, I had walked out onto a limb,
That unsupported began to break.
Little did you realize that was all that it would take.
My past stood before me, stood with all its hurt and pain,
And on that perfected canvas, neither happiness nor loyalty had ever left a stain.
Abandoned again, alone without a light to lead the way,
The remainder of my will quickly began to erode and to decay.
I stood before the mirror, stood and saw a void,
A hole that should have held a soul, not a spirit with which the world had so often toyed.
Behind that mirror I found salvation,
The last to bring true jubilation,
The chemicals which would slow my blood to perfect stillness,
For no one would I continue to fight this illness.
You stood over me, stood with the smell of freshly turned earth, and wondered why.
Neither in the earth or the sky,
Would you ever receive an answer,
Never, never would you be willing to see my “weakness” as an illness akin to cancer.
Refusing to accept, to understand, or recognize,
You donned strength as a disguise,
Alone, you finally cried.
It would be where you stood, when you finally came to understand,
When no one in the world would so much as lend a hand.
Overwhelmed and overwrought,
Your soul could no longer understand the pain which life had brought.
When finally, every loss and abandonment truly reached you to the bone,
That you would stand as I had, forgotten and alone.