All I wanted more than anything this weekend was to come home from college, drive the five hours to see my friends and family for my birthday weekend. I now realize it was a bad idea, I was so hypermanic yesterday when I came home, literally haven’t been that happy or excited for anything in ages. I have to leave tomorrow morning and I’m so terribly homesick even though I’m still here. It was like nothing changed, I had a bad nightmare that I was at college and I woke up and everything was okay. I don’t know what to do, I hate it there and I know nothing’s going to stay the same here. My friends are moving away probably within the next year, I know things are going to be different, but it was so nice being happy for the first time in my life, having friends I hung out with every day. Sure, I know we’ll all keep in contact but it’s so nice having people who you don’t have to question want to hang out with you, just chilling and doing nothing yet having so much fun. At college I have no friends. I met like two girls but I don’t hang out with them, everyone in college is so different than I am. I’ve been getting really bad since I’ve been there and I don’t think I can wait until November for my psychiatrist appointment.

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