I’ve accepted that I’m too pessimistic or depressing for anyone to like or take seriously. I would have lost many friends if I were honest about how I feel. I remember being judged in therapy sessions for telling the truth, like how I was bored during a conversation.
Still, I don’t know what to do. I don’t really like humanity, nor do I really like existence at all. I try my best to ignore reality and daydream, or think of ideal, romanticised situations that have never happened in my life.
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This is pretty much how I feel. People talk to me and I just don’t care what they say and I think to myself “I wish you would just piss off” and my entire outlook on life is one of negativity. If a girl talks to me I’m like “Why are you talking to me? I got nothing to offer” stuff like that.
I guess all you can do is force yourself to look at a situation, see the usual negative side of it but then say “Okay, what’s good about it then?” And run down that path. It’s easier said than done though I know and I don’t do it at all because it is too easy to be negative.
I relate to your outlook on relationships and negativity so much. Sometimes I’m worried people will feel worse after knowing me, so I try to avoid speaking what I really feel strongly about and try to come off as goofy and more cheery than I actually am. This can also lead to disappointment, as I feel like I am sacrificing my chance at happiness to keep others happy.
Jesus christ.
I feel like I wrote that..
How is it there are so many of us on here who feel the same-yet we havent banded together in support of one another and created for ourselves a place that we could shy away from the rest of the world? A commune?
This is how I’ve always felt…i daydream a lot. Its my escape from reality. When my parents sent me to a therapist to get help the lady was very judgemental about my story. it made me feel very abnormal… but I dont care b/c when im in my own world im happy…but when I come back to reality…its cold, mean and scary
Yes, it’s like the therapist is viewing you as a problem, and less as a person. I’ve experienced that.
I used to daydream a lot. I don’t do it as often anymore; it makes me sad that I can’t and probably won’t ever have the same things that normal people have.
Anyway, I agree with you about feeling too depressing for anyone to take you seriously, and not liking humanity and existence. I’ve come to the realization that most human beings in general are awful.