it happened.

not in the form i thought it would. i got the A in math, I got all As. but yesterday i fainted after taking a shower, it was the wildest thing in the world, it’s never happened before. and that part wasn’t that bad. it was after going to the hospital (everyone told me that i should go, i didn’t want to be that person who says no when everyone else is saying yes) that i realized how terrible it was. i had no one to come and pick me up. i have no friends, and the people that i know with cars…well, i assumed they wouldn’t want to pick me up at 8 in the morning, anyway. i haven’t cried in so long–a great accomplishment for me–but i broke that streak yesterday in the hospital bathroom. i just felt so alone. even though i don’t like people and typically do not mind my inability to form friendships, it just hit me so hard thinking about all of the people i know and how they would have someone there for them. then i also thought about asking them and ultimately being rejected, since they obviously have better things to do. I didn’t even need to go to the hospital, they said I was fine. I didn’t even want to go. Fuck. so, i got mine: my great week is over now, it ended with me crying in a hospital bathroom. At least the low has hit me so that I’m finally evened out and remember my place.