I used to be so good at the charade of living (going to work, paying my bills, staying fed, keeping up appearances etc). Now, every moment is a fight. I have no will to maintain my life anymore. Being at work feels like a joke. I want to jump in front of a train, but instead, I ride it to the office everyday. Why? So that I can maintain my lifestyle until I die.
I frigging hate living! Oh my god! Every moment feels like gravel in my bloodstream. I spend most of my waking hours doing things I’d rather not be doing, and the rest sleeping in front of the TV. This is not a life, man. This isn’t for me. I look around at people, they’re living in these fantasy story books. My life just feels like a function. I live because I live, so I live. I’m here for no other reason than the fact that I’m here.
Why do I keep crying to the internet? It’s all futile.
4 comments
U need help with what?
I’m really sorry about that. My life pretty much feels like a function, too. I sometimes feel like a robot. Everything is monotonous. I don’t know the answer to your problem, but I hope that someone replying to your post helps. Even is that someone is a depressed 15 year old who hates everyday of her life.
I too wish there was some grand meaning to my existence. Alas, I think I exist solely to reprieve this world of oxygen
Total Petroleum Hydrocarbons Gasoline what happened with your co-worker in the previous episode? You should make your feelings known because it could make work more enjoyable.