I sit here looking out my window wishing a stray bullet would just come through and end it all.
Other times i sit and see the Semi trucks pass by. wondering and knowing it could end if I would just step right out in front of it.
Another night of self hatred. No way to get out, No way to make anything better.
Maybe for once Something will answer my pleads and just finish me off.
I wouldnt care if i died in a brutal way. Just want it to end.
No strength to fight, NO strength to end it myself. NO power to get by.
I am a ghost who drives a meat ride. thats made of up stardust.
WHat does it matter if I want to die. Nothing has come out good for me. everything always is ripped away from under me.
so tired of pain so tired of life. just want to rest and never wake up. maybe stay in a dream.
i cant do it anymore. Maybe tonight i can pull myself to end it.
Yes im scared. Im scared of more pain and life than i am of death. i see peace in death.
Please just let it all end! Give me the strength to end it. NO MORE.
1 comment
“Another night of self hatred. No way to get out, No way to make anything better.”
I’m sorry about this. It was this type of feeling that brought me to this site several years back. Sometimes trying to make it better without help can be difficult. Is there someone in your community that you can speak to? Maybe calling up Social Services can provide you with resources, low-cost or no-cost providers, and other info. Sometimes the Library or meetup.com have information about local support groups.
Working through whatever is going on is the better option because it at least gives you a chance of moving forward. If you haven’t already, it can be hard to ask for help. I asked for my own help late in the game. Give yourself a chance.