I’m 33 and I have felt unloved my entire life. My family doesn’t think Im good enough. My dad called me a screw up a loser n that I’ll never amount to anything. And no man will ever love me. I have been in love with a man (my sons father) for 10 yrs. yes he cheats. Yes he’s living with his daughters mother but still is wanting to be with me. I am naive. I have never felt love like I have felt from him. I trust him I adore him I stood by him thru think n thin. He helped me become better. Helped me get off coke n meth addiction (I’m 8 yrs clean now) and I love him with all my heart. But I don’t feel like he loves me the same. He doesn’t make an effort to show his love. He wants me to make the effort all the time. And I do. My sister my mom my friends all have abandoned me. I am emotional and I can’t help that I speak the truth on how I think or feel. I’ve lost all the ppl I love the most. Why doesn’t anyone love me with their all? What’s wrong with me? I pray all the time God will kill me in car accident. The one time I tried suicide I hung myself with a rope and rope broke in half. I felt my body convulsing and I blacked out n then sometime later woke up on the floor with broken rope. I still haven’t forgave God for not allowing me to die. All I want is for this emptiness and pain n sadness n worthless to go away. I just want to fe happy n loved. I love so hard. But never receive the love back. Not even from my family or my “boyfriend” of 10 yrs. I hate my life. I just want to be in heaven.