The thought of death is soothing. I don’t want to die but I’m afraid of being alive. I’m afraid I’m never going to get out of this. I’m afraid of everything and I want to be alone for a long, long time away from everyone. Everything feels meaningless. Even loving or helping people sounds meaningless. I can’t find a point. I’m tired of trying.
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4 comments
thanks for sharing this excellent vent. I’ve been in a total funk all day because a couple people at work caught me browsing this site and now they’re in worry mode. One of them insisted we go to lunch and I ended up telling her everything you just posted. What a mistake that was. People with something to live for can never understand the purgatory of being too afraid to live, and too much of a coward to die. I really love you for writing this; I feel slightly less alone.
Yes this is a very relatable post. Everything you said are the thoughts I’ve been dealing with for a long time. I guess just getting through one more day is a success but I still feel like an eternal failure.
I have felt similarly. I hope that knowing that there are others like you keeps you going a little further and that you never suicide.
Yes; thank you guys for responding. Literally this website is the only thing that I don’t hate today.