in the cheesy novels that i sometimes read (don’t judge), the troubled female protagonist gets better only after she meets a perfect boy and they fall in love and he glues together all the broken parts of her blah blah … i want to believe i can get better without a boy, because let’s face it – i am butt-ugly, so boys are not on the horizon for me. but surely this trope exists for a reason? can i really get better. . . alone? i know i will never be loved, so what does it matter if i live or die?
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You *will* be loved, definitely, no question. Sometimes it doesn’t just happen and you have to look for it, but you’re not unlovable.
Relationships should make anyone’s life better, but if you’re relying on them to keep you feeling better it can lead to problems. I’ve never got better because of a boy, but I relied on my ex quite a bit emotionally. He was the only person I could talk to about things like suicide, so I always came to him when I was ill. It caused a lot of problems in the end, because I was so reluctant to let him go when we were having problems. It’s good to have someone who helps you, but it can be dangerous to rely on one person like that.
Your secret is safe with me. I binge on Korean drama. Word.
That was a little glib. You are lovable, you really are. There is someone waiting for you, just keep walking. I truly believe that.
Im a butt ugly boy so idk if the tropes are true or not. I do know they previous posters here are right you can and will find love. I think love CAN be a powerful catalyst for change in someones life. That said no one attribute not money not love not friends not health or anything on its own can heal someone completely. Its a myriad of things that all impact each other along with ones self esteem. You are not unlovable.
If I can interject here, there are not a few ladies out there who don’t really give a hoot about looks.
Importance in a mate as follows:
Intelligence
Kindness
please bathe minimum daily.
Don’t discount the importance of just being there.
Youre right there are NOT ladies that dont care about looks lol. I know what youre trying to say i also have severe anxiety and trust issues so im fucked lol. Well not fucked you get what im saying lol
OHHHH. Not a few ladies = double negative = lots of ladies.
Not to be a grammar nazi (maybe just a grammar cop one of the lazy donut eating cops) but in context to say not a few ladies that dont care about looks its saying there are a few ladies who do care about looks…. granted to infer there are only a few ladies that care about looks is to say there are many more who dont so i guess it still works…. needless to say this nit picking overthinking doesnt help my datelessness lol but i digress. The gyst of your post is true not about women but men. I honestly dont care about looks i only care about compatibility.
*not just about women but men lol im arresting myself. The point is looks arent everything. There are beautiful dateless people and ugly players (and playettes lol)
lol. So much for my clever wording.
I really hate that trope. Be your own best friend. Be your own lover. Save yourself.
i’m TIRED of being my own best friend, my own lover. it’s the loneliest existence. it’s not worth it anymore.
Loving myself didn’t do much
One time a year ago I asked myself “Why am I still living? Its boring the world is boring” .And so on and so forth. I always asked myself that everyday. And at some point I tried asking people the same question “Why do you want to continue living?” And one answered me something like this. “It totally depends on you. I would want to die right now actually, School is really killing me. But Im not that selfish. Dying wouldn’t hurt as much as the people mourning your death. Killing myself would only take an hour or so but for the people I left behind- the people who loves me .. it would last forever. Having them living with that kind of pain is scarier than dying.”
That reminds me of a quote I read online a few months back:
“The suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths wondering why.”