Ever since I graduated college last year, the meaning in my life has decreased. I’m at a low that I’ve never experienced before. When I was in high school, it was all about teenage angst and being heartbroken from unrequited love. In college I was preoccupied with struggling to get by and remnants of my teenage angst. Now that I’m over my teenage angst and I can see clearer, suddenly life has become so meaningless and so boring. Nothing impresses me. Nothing excites me. I suppose this is called depression? But I have no real reason to be depressed. Sure, I still don’t have a full-time job, but it’s a process and I am getting there. I’m afraid that once I get a full-time job, I’m going to experience even worse depression because I will have gotten what I wanted, but the meaning still isn’t there.
There’s not even any pain. I just don’t find a point to being alive, and the burden and exasperation of being alive is so tiring and boring… I don’t know if it’s just my monthly mood swings talking or not. I’ve been feeling this way for months now. Even distractions aren’t enough to keep me from thinking this way.
6 comments
How much I can relate to your title.
When someone doesn’t have reason to be depressed, it’s going to be a lot less helpful to look for external things in your life to make a difference (like a job, or the things you use as distractions). Don’t make the mistake of thinking that because the teenage angst is over, what you’re feeling now is clarity. It isn’t the way things should be. Please get help for the depression. Seeing changes in your life might not be enough to stop it. But there are other ways.
Your life will be pretty amazing once you land a job that you can enjoy. Something with challenge and interesting co-workers. Right now you are in transition. Being unimpressed by it all is common. You just don’t have anything immediately right in front of you that’s worth the emotional investment.
Things will change. Enjoy the downtime while you have it. By 2020 you’re going to be all bent out of shape about having kids, buying a house, and the undisclosed bugs in your robotic car.
If you are really super stressed about your lack of enthusiasm, why not try talking to a therapist? They’re pretty good about exploring options and life strategies.
I can’t get over how much I can’t relate to you with this . I feel the same exact way . I don’t enjoy things anymore. I don’t have fun. I hate going to my classes , it doesn’t interest me at all anymore. I hate the people around me . Everything is just so boring is rather watch movies or sleep. But I want to get out into the world and find fun and happiness . Every time I try though it all ends the same.
I have been trying to have fun and be happy for about two years now. It works, but my mind always finds its way back to feeling dissatisfied and I can’t figure out why. I have a lot of fun when I make myself have fun–even pretending works! Sometimes I even get a lot of motivation for life, but it quickly dissipates. It’s very hard to hold onto. I’m not quite sure why. So while I’m actually quite a very happy person, I have bouts of depression out of nowhere.
And I understand the feeling of hating people around you. All throughout high school and half of college I had those feelings. Then I realized that maybe I was too self-absorbed and didn’t understand people as much as I thought I did nor was as open-minded as I thought I was. Once I transcended that, I was much happier and a lot more people liked me more for who I was. Life is just very hard and and oscillating.
life is so boring and i just want it to end. so uninterested in ‘life’
even exciting things don’t make me want to ‘live’ life