Today was scary Realised there is acutely people on here that might not be here tomorrow.that is scary and I don’t know I din’t understand that earlier. To wiskered-fish I was terrified that she might be gone today so young and so tortured and lost along with everybody in this world SP including myslef.
before loging on to Sp today I been feel extremely low and suicidal the most I have years . yesterday I honstly thought I should have cut deeper and left scars showed them all how fucked up I am I should have tried to kill myslef months ago. I should have cut so deep to end it all is all thought for the past two days.
My husband came home soaking wet he was upset and his car got stuck in pot hole in the rain . he want’s to get rid of his car usually not a big deal but he loves his car. He dreams of giveing it to his son and. Him getting rid of it because i can’t provide kills me. Its been breaking down on him slowly and it not a cheap car to fix to get in ok condition will be atleast 3,000$.
He sent me in the car to look to his phone.but I feel so useless and the source of everyone’s problem especially his . the past two days his look on his eyes towards me was just not right . I saw his anger and hatred and disappointment in them towards me . and when I was looking for this phone I stood there outside the wind was blowing and I felt it, end it now that will solve his problems he will move on he will keep his car. I will slove the headache I give my parents they will be sad and get over it. My inlaws will get there perfect daughter inlaw they want when he remarried. Do it walk in to the street the car go about 60 to 75 mph that should do it .but when I turned no cars it was red light so went back to the house and loged on.
To see a innocentt girl wanting to end it all. And it scared me. She has alot lufe ahead of her . so me being the hypocritical thought don’t do it.
When laying down in the street sounded amazing.
I wish there was a way to make everyone here happy to have peace in this. SP world I really do . so no one will use this site no more all this awful feeling would be gone and this site will be no loger needed .
I HOPE EVERYBODY GET’S THREW THE NIGHT SAFELY.
7 comments
I have questions related to sudden death.
Did everyone of you experience sudden terror of death like you feel you might die right now? Like your head is going to explode ? Or your heart stops? I am not joking it usually happens in the early mornings to me. I feel a sudden terror. The fear of death. Is my feeling true? Did someone else experience this? It’s been happening for several days every day now and I see it starts in the morning. I am afraid when I go to sleep because I feel that if I close my eyes I will die.
*anyone
@passion Um i don’t know i have had near death experience so have felt terror of death like that but fear like no I cant say I have. Sorry
Well thank you for the kind reply. Too much of reading your posts here or too much coffee? I hope it is that simple.
I am a hypocrite too because I replied “don’t do it”? Yes. I said goodbye to this site yesterday but well I thought I have nothing else to do and what the hell I will go and see what’s going on S.P. Then I see her post. I thought to myself “here goes another one”(not in a cynical way).
Hello everyone. I agree, I am hoping everyone makes it through the night safe.
Seconded.
Or… thirded, I guess.