Promises they’re broke before they’re made or I’ve made a lot of mistakes (in my mind)

It may just be the caffine crash talking but i feel like shit. There is a hefty amount of optimism in my mind about he future. But i have doubts and i dont have the energy to do all I’d like to do. Also that pesky anxiety though the aforementioned(in another post) ashwaghanda is helping. I pray. I didn’t always but i pray a lot nowadays. Even if it just in my mind it helps. Depression is just a *****. I think of death and life evenly now. It’s not a battle more of a friendly debate between respected rivals. I’m just hoping that my life will start. Ive had a lot of sputtering and false starts. Im hoping the engine finally turnsover this time.

Edit: I also keeo being reminded of someone i want to forget and move on past. Ive seen to get over someone you have to get under someone. i certainly hope not because lord knows when or even if that woll ever happen.