I can’t go on living this life anymore. But I also can’t leave. If I died, no one would miss me, but then my parents would divorce. They already were going to when I went off to college. I’d just be speeding up the process, but if that happened, I don’t know how my dad would live. He doesn’t have a great job, no one to live with, and I’m worried. My mom has people to go to and can earn enough money. But there is also the chance that she might commit suicide as well.
All I want is an escape from this world. Is that so hard to ask for?
3 comments
Do you have a hobby or talent? If so escape into that, if not find a hobby and throw yourself into it. For me, it’s music and art and my animals. They keep me living. I hope you can find something that does the same for you.
Have you ever sought out a therapist? You are taking on guilt for other people’s problems in life. Time you worked on you and what could keep you going. It sounds like your family is depressing. That does not mean that you have to endure the same. There is help out there. If you get a judgmental therapist or one that doesn’t ‘get it,’ save your money and find another one.
I wish you well. Don’t just hang around for your family, but don’t leave because they’ve raised you in an unhealthy environment.
When I wrote ‘don’t leave,’ I meant ‘don’t leave life.’ It sounds as if distancing from you family might help.