I can’t make it anymore. I always come back to the same point. When I’m alone, I see that my life is pointless and worthless. and I want to die again. Why? I try to live. I try to find the reason to live. I try so hard. But those thoughts…They don’t leave me…Why do I always come back to the same point?
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Of the three wolves inside us, one wants to do good, one wants to do bad and one doesn’t care or cares.
The one we feed more is the one becoming bigger. I had a part of my life always going back to the same old feeling. The feeling of wanting to get out of here, its not me its this place. It’s all fucked. or maybe its also me, but how can you cope with this world?
It would go away once I gave energy to the thought, but then it would become worse when it came back. More and more difficult to cope with the feeling (which basically meant coping with this reality of mine). Now I give food to my happy feeling and sometimes to my negative. Its super fucking difficult. I’m like “why should I force myself be happy?” but then it works.
I have been put into this world without knowing my purpose, without remembering who I am and who should I become. I need a friend that gets me, that loves me. IAnd then I realize nodoby is going to be with me, but me.
I need to be my own friend. Loving me, means try to make me happy?
Sorry I wanted to talk and try to find a solution but probably I should know, how did you try to cope with the negative feeling?
I still try. I dream. I imagine myself somewhere there, being happy. Or I imagine that something happens that changes my life and helps me to learn how to appreciate life. It works until I realize that none of my dreams, none of my imaginations are real. That none are about to happen. Til that moment it helps me to stay alive.
seekingforhelp, “pointless and worthless” this is a very complicated subject, bottom line it is up to you to give yourself a point and and worth, don’t compare yourself to other’s, when following the leader you are always in the rear, follow your passion, what ever it might be, it’s only important to you in the long run, but you will do what you like doing, whether it’s helping others, or playing guitar, impress yourself by being you. other things fall in place when you have a direction and your happy.