The website says “Howdy”.
Howdy. That does sound quite ironic.
It’s another day once again that begins “Let’s put off until tomorrow what we can put off until tomorrow” says the book I’m reading. A book by Murakami. A japanese author. Japan? It’s something that had some impact on my life, it’s funny how you and others associate things to yourself even though you don’t believe you exist. Sometimes I picture myself walking in a quiet japanese street between two rows of houses, eating a fish-shaped an-pan, just like in those animes I watched when I was in junior high.
Yes, exactly, with that piano OST from Durarara!! in the background.
Or better maybe: “Nichijou seikatsu”.
I often dream of this anime-like “nichijou seikatsu”
After all, what better than this? A simple, quiet and cheerful life.
Yet it doesn’t seem to exist, there is always something to do, always somewhere to be, always someone to please.
Because if you want to benefit from society you have to work for it too. Right? That’s perfectly normal.
Without getting into everything that goes wrong with our actual society, it is impossible for us to live a life of leisure without working. That is, very, very disappointing.
I played a game called “Touch Detective” when I was younger, no actually it is a game I do appreciate quite a lot. Working adult characters who don’t have any importance in the game are all disgusting mummy-like creatures. I couldn’t describe them better. They look like “The Scream” by Edvard Munch. This painting describes the anxiety of existence quite well.
Responsabilities, work, society. I don’t want to be an adult, high school is almost over for me, it was a great time, and I don’t want to grow up, all those exams are already stressful enough, everything is stressful, I’ll forever say my thanks to the coffee machine and the small cloister of my high school for taking care of my mental health.
I feel like spitting blood. I feel like a being made of tears. I feel like a cold stone bench under the moonlight.
This is how I feel, like the moon. A cold, rocky and pale thing, that looks empty and useless.
I caught myself liking the sun today, because it was cold outside. That “nichijou seikatsu” vibe again, something I’ll never have.