Home Chronic Pain 1:41am
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by plasticflower

you know those days where you wake up and decide you will definitely enjoy that day? you decide you’re going to do anything you can to feel happy and do everything you always put off. you feel determined and excited. today was supposed to be one of those days. since yesterday wasn’t the day off i would’ve liked it to be, i decided to try my best and have an acceptable day today. it didn’t particularly work, and i’m not surprised.
numbness is a very strange feeling. at first, you don’t understand it; but after a while, you forget how you felt before. what it feels to feel.
sometimes i think maybe feeling was nice, but the thing is i still feel; even if they’re negative feelings, they’re still something.
i’ve decided i’ll just keep going. lately everything is kind of like when a fly gets inside your house. after trying to get it out for a while, you just give up and ignore it, maybe leave the window open so it leaves by itself. currently, i’m the fly; and i’m waiting for someone to open the window.

– something i wrote out of the top of my head, may not make sense but eh –


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Chip 6/3/2017 - 8:50 pm

I can relate to the fly analogy. I’ve had several mostly paperwork projects sitting on my desk for, ohhh, three months now, I think, waiting to be completed. Waiting for their open window. I used to be the Master of Efficiency and Details, but lately, it’s more fun to just watch the papers and hope they: 1. Complete themselves. 2. Blow away. Either way, if I live or die, they’re just papers.

SweetQuietus 6/3/2017 - 9:20 pm

I didn’t expect you to say you’re the fly, i thought the fly was going to irritate you or distract you .
Been feeling a similar way for a long time now, so I get where you’re coming from. I figured that I needed the time to do nothing. Maybe that’s what was needed more than activity.
Hope you got some rest at least. Try not to berate yourself. These things will still be here tomorrow.

bluerosewhy 6/4/2017 - 4:27 am

Call me whatever, but I’ve been seeing this 1:41 and variations of it like 11:41 or 1:14 everywhere for some time now. I know it sounds crazy (maybe I am) but it’s too obvious to ignore it anymore. I used to be into researching meanings in this, I’ve abandoned this lately and don’t know if I believe in anything anymore but some things are hard to ignore.
Maybe it’s nothing, still it’s hauting me.

Sorry for the off topic.

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