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tonight when i arrived from work, i was welcomed by silence and lights out, which meant everyone was asleep. i was not surprised, considering i just got here and it’s 11:10 pm. even though i understand why they’re asleep, considering it’s a Tuesday night, i still know that deep down i wish they were waiting for me. but they don’t care that much, and i understand that. i’ve felt very anxious all day, and i don’t know why, considering last night i tried to get more sleep than usual. it’s weird. speaking of weird; today is the birthday of an old friend of mine. she and i went through one of the most painful experiences, at least for me, i’ve ever been through about two years ago. basically our group of friends just dropped us, and once we tried apologising for the misunderstanding, everyone was ignoring us and telling us that we were not the victims, and that they didn’t want to talk to us again. it sounds pretty stupid, and it probably is, but it still really affected me. anyways, considering all this and everything we’d been through, she dropped me, too. out of nowhere, stopped talking to me and just straight up ignored me. she was now friends with the “cool kids” and i think she was embarrassed of being seen with me, so i understand why she’d drop me. it still hurt a lot. but aaaanyways, the point is today’s her birthday, so i sent her a message to congratulate her, even though she forgot or just didn’t care enough about mine. i just hope she still has my number so she knows it’s me.

to change topics drastically; today i considered buying an ukulele, since back at home i used to have a keyboard, and playing it helped me a lot, but i’m not sure. they’re something i’m not sure i can afford, but i do think it’d help me clear my mind. i’ll have to think it over.

this is me rambling, sorry.


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SadPotato 6/6/2017 - 7:22 pm

There’s no need to apologize. It’s your post, and you can decide what you want to say on it.

O and maybe you can look around for a second-hand ukulele, if a new one is too expensive. If it’s something that would help, then it’s definitely worth buying, if you can afford it.

brokenshell 6/6/2017 - 8:59 pm

You’re probably anxious because you didn’t get a closure for being dropped and as someone who has been dropped before and also dropped a friend of 10 years (she betrayed me multiple times) I hope I can give you some closure on behalf of your friend.

Sometimes people drop friends because the person involved reminds them of painful things or feelings and it’s their way of escaping or moving on from painful memories. Sometimes people drop friends without warning and start ignoring because they want to avoid ending a friendship badly (like arguments) so they think ignoring will in due time make the parting less painful for both. Sometimes people just don’t know how to end a friendship on good terms so they just end contact in hopes the other person will do the same.

Some people aren’t strong enough to stay in broken friendships to try and fix them so the easiest thing they can do is drop people. You’re probably one of the rare few who’s willing to work things out even if it’s difficult but unfortunately, your “friend” doesn’t feel the same and maybe it’s better for you to forget them and move on as well. Find better friends who won’t easily run away when things get tough because working out conflicts in friendships makes bonds stronger and your group of friends just missed an opportunity. Quality vs Quantity; personally, I’d rather have 1 best friend who I can have fights with and make-ups than 100 “friends” who are really just acquaintances who’ll easily drop me over something trivial.

You’ll meet a lot more people in your life and you’ll find better friends, those who dropped you is life’s way of weeding out people who aren’t worth your time and efforts. School isn’t the only place you can make friends so go out and explore.

RhythmGhost 6/6/2017 - 10:59 pm

Hi. 🙂

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