my crazy life…

October 4th, 2017by hellfire187

hey,

just want to share a little bit of my story.  Sorry for my bad english.

My father is an alcoholic psycho, as long as I can think. He was allways fliping out. I started smoking weed, when I was 12. I was smoking and drinking every day, since Im 16. At this age, I became sick, crohns desease. Every day pain, like hell… Im on opiate painkillers since Im 20. This every day pain breaks my brain. Got depressed after some years of horrible pain. With 25 I started to take speed, meth, cokain everyday use, in weekends mdma, sometimes lsd, alltogether with weed and painkillers. Every weekend on rave, dancing from friday night to sunday afternoon. On drugs I stabbed someone with a knife. I was on  probaiton, lost my job, got hardest depression of my life. Close to kill myself… I failed on probation and got to jail for 1 year. Now Im out of jail, my ex gf stole all of my stuff and demolished my apartment, caused about 30k$ damage… Now Im out, got nothing left, no (drug-) friends, 15k$ debt + eventually what my ex gf caused, depressed like hell. The only positive is that Im clean now. But I dont want to live this f***** life anymore.

The whole story is a lot worse…

I just dont want to live like this anymore… It wont get better. Just more pain… I should end this, as long as I can…

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