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to say i’m stressed would be an understatement.
these days have been so hectic, i feel like i can’t keep up with everything, but everyone is constantly telling me to keep up, to cheer up, to calm down, to just stop feeling stressed. mental health has been a mess lately, and today is just not working for me. sometimes i wish i caught a cold so i could rest in bed, but then i remember that even if i’m too ill to get out of bed, i’ll still have to do everything.
the problem isn’t having stuff to do, the problem is having to do things for everyone, and having to leave my things at the bottom of my list of things to do. there’s so much on my mind that i want to talk about, but everyone would most likely think i’m being annoying so i’ll keep it to myself.
i cried today while trying to turn on a fan and i haven’t eaten anything since 8am this morning, but nobody here gives a damn about that. i feel so tired, even though i sleep. it feels so crowded in my head, even though it’s just me. i don’t know what to do or how to cope, or anything honestly. who knows if i make it to December, i honestly feel like i’m going to explode soon.
i’ve felt pretty dizzy all day, and i think it’s because of stress, but i’m not sure.
anyways, i’ll shut up now.

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alphabet 11/5/2019 - 5:19 am

You say that you want to talk, but everyone would most likely think you’re being annoying.
Don’t let that bother you — if you want to talk, then just talk/type! Nobody is forced to read it, but if you don’t write it then we don’t have the option.

If you haven’t eaten since 8am, it isn’t surprising you’re dizzy. It may sound trite, but have you tried just looking after yourself first, and leaving other people’s problems until afterwards? They may be more OK with that than you expect — and even if they aren’t, that is their problem. You can’t do anything for them if you’re gone by December.

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