i spend most of my time, thinking to myself. trying to tell my self that yes, these people exist, they have feelings, their heart beat and they feel sad sometimes too.. but then again, how can I be so sure? and i can’t tell anyone how i really think, they’d think i’m crazy. who knows. Maybe i am crazy.
I spend most of my time wanting to die. the anxiety in me, the feeling of wanting to do everything at once, but having no purpose in doing it, not wanting to, why does it all matter? all what we do is grow up to get a job for the rest of our life. there’s nothing good about life, i wish this was a nightmare. i wish i could wake up and be some where else.
i think i belong in the galaxy, i don’t belong here on earth. i feel so lost on this planet, the people don’t make sense, the way we think, talk & act keep me up at night, giving me headaches.
I cry myself to sleep a lot because of all of these weird feelings. And the worst part is is that i cannot find one single human fucking being that has the same feelings as me.
3 comments
You’ve found the right place, I think. Many of the feelings you have, I definitely share with you. “I have so much on my plate, but I cannot stomach it all” is the way I think when I have a mob of different things bearing down on me. At the top of the list is suicide of course.
Feel free to share your story, throughs etc with ue, with me. Oh and by the way, I like ghosts as well. Welcome to SP.
I hope you enjoy your stay 🙂
I feel the same way. It feels like I was born at the wrong time. This world feels too complicated to me. I sit here, 29 years old with 3 degrees and no career. I can’t find a job. On the one hand i have little work experience and on the other hand I’m over qualified for most other things. Caught between a rock and a hard place.
I wish I could leave this earth. Life should feel hard and not fucking impossible. The anxiety and depression is a pain in the arse. I’ve always tried my best but it doesn’t seem enough for this society. If my best is not enough then society must feel that I’m not enough. I want to wake up from this horrid dream and leave living to those who are so good at it. I did not ask to be here. It sucks and has always sucked. I envy the dead. Everytime I read about someone dying I feel like “You lucky person, if i could i would trade with you so that you can go on with your full life and I can be done with this screwed up life of mine”. I wish I could leave earth too.
I have flipped out in the past for these things.. and i have to be honest, at then i thought i was particularly intelligent and i was kind of proud of the detachment that i felt towards the others. Existence.. the time mocking you.. meaninglessness, Sartre, the feeling that an evident distraction is driving all these people around without asking themselves a question: why?
And at then, i thought that if i changed idea in the future, it would be for dishonesty towards the truth, and i would be to despise. But i did change idea.
“I spend most of my time trying to tell myself that these people exist, they have feelings, their heart beats and they feel sad sometimes too..”
I find it poetic..