Thats is, im going to kill myself. And my mother is to blame, she has made my life so miserable that i cant even take it anymore. They always think im lying an im not, they make me not even want to talk to them , then when i dont talk to them, i get in trouble, so im never going to have even a day that im not in trouble. Im going to just explode. My soul is chipping away from the world and my life is worth nothing more than dirt. My heart cant take this emotional roller coaster, im going to just end it all in one second. All the pain, all the hurt, all the bad people, all of it will be gone. By bottling my emotions up i cant stand this world anymore. Im sorry i all of my friends who have to endure this pain too, i will see you soon.And to you family who actually loved me.To mrs. stephenson, the best teacher i will ever have, i will miss you dearly. And as i lay in bed, i drown in my own tears, i cant take this felling anymore. Thats it, today is on the verge of the death of me. And ill never experience true love from anyone. Not even from the parents of a child who isnt afraid of death, or parent of a child who wishes the had never been born , or a parent of a child who wants to just die and never have to worry about the pain again. Dont EVER feel bad for my mother, after all, she brought this upon herself.
3 comments
please, please do Not kill yourself! It sounds like you are young and have your whole life ahead of you!!! There are people out there who you haven’t met and you will find true love someday.
My ex boyfriend took his life last year and it has killed my soul and my heart. The pain and regret of not calling him over the years eats away me everyday. He probably thought I didn’t care anymore, but I did, but I’m married! You don’t know how many people love you and care.
Do not do this to put blame on your mom and punish her. Your life will get better as you get older. My mom is very difficult, too. Please, I am
Begging you, talk to a friend or family member and a counselor with your mom. Have faith and life will get better!! Email me if u need support. I care!! Nypinkgirl@ aol.com
Thank you, i was almost going to do it tonight
When I wasn’t in trouble, I was in terror that I would be in trouble — and I was a kid who really didn’t do anything wrong. They made up things so they would have something to either scream about or complain to other people about. Actually, my father did the screaming. It was my mother who lives to have people feel sorry for her, so she invented things so her friends would pity her. I was in all the advanced classes, excelled in the arts, and had a lot of friends, but when I was 17 she went to a meeting of parents whose kids were runaways, drug addicts, or had criminal records so she went to complain that I didn’t clean my room. Poor thing, she didn’t find the commiseration she was seeking. Once she asked me with disgust, “Why does everybody like you?” No, I would never feel sorry for your mother if anything happened to you. What I learned later, though, was that my friends’ parents had a pretty good idea what a nuthouse I was living in — they just couldn’t say or do anything about it. If I had known that I wasn’t the crazy one back then — if one person had said that my observations were correct — I may not have spent the next 40 or so years of my life looking for ways to fix things. (I’m 50, my mother is 84 — she still treats me like shit.) Hopefully, if you survive this go-round, you’ll at least know there’s someone on the planet who gets it.