anonymousie

Me and my boyfriend share two cats. One is almost two years old, the other is probably almost a year. Neither of them are neutered. I’d like to get them neutered but since they’re my boyfriend’s cats as well as mine, he doesn’t want to get them neutered because it’s “evil” and I don’t think it’s worth a fight so I just let him be ignorant. He doesn’t listen to reason, I’ve tried to explain the benefits of neutering like a hundred times but he still insists that it’s evil. So basically I’m just here to rant about it a little.

I just don’t get what’s […]

I know your mind is kind of fried since you’re disassociating. But there’s something you know deep in the back of your soul.

Remember when you were 16 and first started dating your 26 year old boyfriend? When your barely 16 year old best friend begged you to come to this party down the road because she wanted you to meet the guy she liked? Who was the 26 year old. He started flirting with you, and you told him you were a lesbian for the sake of your friend. But when he started messaging you on facebook you started falling for him. “They’re done anyway […]

This might sound like I’m overreacting, when really it’s kind of like the final push. Today at like 6am one of my cats wake me up like he does every morning he’s actually home. He’s an indoor outdoor cat. He always demands to be let out early as fuck in the morning and my boyfriend NEVER lets him out for me. Even though it’s “our” cat. I hate being woke up for no reason so I’m kind of mad and tell the cat to shut up. He shuts up for a few seconds and then meows several times as loud as he can. So I […]

the most hateful thing i’ve thought in my life is “i wouldn’t give a single fuck if my boyfriend or his kid died”

of course i don’t mean it. but i can’t help it. what’s the most hateful thing you ever thought?

you’ll never amount to shit
you can cook and clean
do whatever
but at the end of the day
you amount to less than
shit

shit, i fucking hate you
everything about you
everything
about you is shit

i never thought
a person
could amount to
not even shit
until i discovered
who i was:
shit

and that’s youll ever be
and everyone can see
that you are shit
i’d choose dog shit
over you
you deserve to be hit
by a car
going fast as a bullet
you say you want to die
but you were dead before you knew it

you died on March 1st
in an […]

i stayed up until 2am thinking about you last night. i think it’s time i start talking to you how i would talk to you if you were still in my tummy about to be born. listen, mommy loves you very much. if you were still here i would tell you how excited i am to meet you. i can’t wait to hold you and be the first to feed you. i wonder if you would have hair, how much you would weigh, who’s smile you would have. i hope it would be your daddy’s smile. he’s so handsome. would you be a daddy’s girl […]

this was made on 9/27/18. the due date of my baby. i wrote it on my notes in my phone, but my boyfriend found it and got pissed and deleted it. i needed it so i’m posting on here. if you just came her for the poem, you can scroll to the bottom.

today i should be excited. anxious. nervous. awaiting motherhood. instead i’m only anxious. and mad. and hopelessly sad. today should’ve been your birthday, baby. and I’m so sorry. I don’t have words for how sorry I am. so many questions are running through my mind. would you have been born on time? how […]

i also hate my boyfriend but i’m not going to get into the million reasons why he pisses me off right now. i’m just going to get into why i hate his his kid. my boyfriend is 28 and i am 18. his kid is 6 and i’ve known him since he was 4. he hasn’t changed AT ALL since he was 4.

he still doesn’t know how to spell his name, he’s the laziest kid i know. just a few minutes ago he was laying on he bed with his nasty ass feet touching my leg and he was like “why are the cookies on […]

I have to get this off my chest somewhere.

I started dating a 25 year old man when I was 16. He started out as the most charming guy I ever met and then after about a year he showed his true colors. He is verbally and used to be physically abusive. I won’t get into that, but when I was about to turn 18 I found out I was pregnant. I knew he would be mad but I figured he loved me so we could make it work. I told him and he accused me of lying about taking my birth control pills. I never […]

i am too young to lose you now
my heart is heavy and weighing me down
my tears are in abundance
forgive me if i drown

i am too weak to be strong
i am too smart to not know this is wrong
you were always consistent
when i had no one, you were here all along

but now the only thing you’re consistent at
is killing yourself slowly
you were dealt a bad hand of cards
i know you must feel lonely

you deserved everything, but you lost it all
you don’t feel like a man, you feel small
but i’m begging you to stand tall
but […]

today’s the day that i have come to the conclusion that everything in life is fucking pointless. things that i love i now found a way to hate them.
i saw a dead dog on the road and immediately thought, “this is why i hate animals”. of course i don’t really hate animals but fuck. when i saw that collar around it’s limp neck, i saw children crying over their lost beloved pet. my pets will probably die before i do and i fucking hate them for it. i love them so much.
when i realized my dad was slowly dying, i found a tiny […]