I just keep feeling so bad I just need that pain to go away
and what is so wrong with cutting I’m not cutting deep enough to
kill myself, so what is the harm in it. Besides like people says
cutting your wrists can’t kill you anyways, so what is the harm in
it if it’s not hurting anyone besides yourself? That’s what I don’t
understand. Why do people care what you do to yourself? I started
out caring what people did to themselves but now I know that if they
what to do it there is no stoping them so why care? I know […]
I know that I’m a nice person, but how can I be when I cause so much pain to others like my friends and family. Everytime I look I have hurt someone else that I really care about. Cut to make the pain go away but as soon as I feel good I hurt someone. I don’t know why I do it, it just happens. So I just keep cutting because I don’t know what else to do with myself. As hard I try to be nice it keeps coming out the wrong way and someone is hurt again. I think it’s time to end […]
Well I must be the stupidest person alive because all I
can think of is cutting myself and wanting to be dead.
Everyone says they love me, but how can that be true when
they just keep bashing on me. Cutting seems to make
everything disapper and all the pain is gone. I feel so
much better after the cut is made. I feel like the world
couldn’t get any better or worse. No one understands why I
do it. It just makes everything alright and it may not
last long but each time I pray the feeling will last just
a little longer. I […]
I haven’t written here in a long time but I think I might need help. When I started to write I either wanted to feel something or wanted to stop feeling all together. But this time I don’t know whether if I want to feel something or nothing at all. On one hand I want to go back to cutting to see what’s real but on the other hand I’m so terrified that I keep having a nightmare that I end up almost die. So I don’t know how to feel. As well I have no one here to talk to or even understand why […]
I’m just a mess and can’t fix it. Every time I think I’ve got something right there is something that I forgot and I keep getting yelled at for it. I just can’t take it. And does anyone else get in trouble or yelled at; NO. I just keep getting pounded on and I always take the heat. What else is there to do the other person is younger than me so I feel that I should protect them. But then when I do they never try to help me.
What’s left for me I seem to do nothing right. Everytime I think I’ve hit rock bottom the hole somehow gets deeper. I don’t do well in school, I can’t do anything right at home, I suck at my job and now I made the choir suck and emberessed my director in front of other directors. I don’t understand why she let me in the choir in the frist place. I hate myself for it. There’s nothing I’m good at and I know it. What’s the point of being here if I can’t do anything right in the first place. Everyone says I’m a good […]
Right now I just feel like killing myself because everyone is causing me to get so upset that it’s making me sick. So if I die there will be no more problems and I’ll stop feeling so sick. I just want to cry and tell them all to go fuck off and die. But I know I can’t do that so I just want to take what ever sharp thing I can find and cut myself everywhere and then stab myself so that I just die in my own pool of blood. Then everyone will be so happy. Everyone says that they’re my friend but […]
I’m trying to be here and be happy but I just don’t know how long I can keep up this lie. I look at the person that really cares about me and feel so bad about lying to them. I’ve lied about a lot and I don’t want to keep lying but I feel that if I tell her what I really have going on in my head I think it would scare her so much she’d be afraid of me. Then just yesterday I did something stupid but she doesn’t know. The other day she asked me if I have been thinking about cutting […]
I don’t know why but everytime something happens in my house it’s my fault. It’s never thanks you found it or hey do you know where this thing is I can’t find it. It’s always where is it you moved it you better find. If you don’t find I’m going to beat your ass. You can’t go to sleep or school till you find it. If I ever find out it’s your fault next time I’ll beat your ass till you bleed. How can you say that person loves you. That’s the point you can’t because it’s always hatered towards you. I’m so sick and […]
Have you ever dreamt that you know someone who tries to kill themselfs. And it’s really scary because you don’t know if it’s going to come true. I woke up this morning with that nightmare and don’t know what to do. I’m afraid that I’m going to get that call or finding that I’m the one making that call. I look around and see that I don’t have much to live for, but I know that there are some that would miss me I think. And that’s all I can think about. I started thinking about it when my chior teacher told us that tomorrow […]
Everything is falling apart and I don’t know what to do. My family is being torn apart and I can’t stop it. All I wanted was to have a family that loves each other and doesn’t fight. Every once in awhile is okay but not this. Then I found out me dad has bleeding ulsers and if they don’t get better they could turn in to canser. I just want everything to be okay it doesn’t have to be perfect but at least okay. I don’t want to be the reason he ends up in the hospital. Then I made he so mad yesterday. So […]
I can’t take it anymore this family is killing me. Well acually I’m killing myself, but that’s not the point. My father is destorying this family and we’re just letting it happen. He was gone for two weeks and we talk to him maybe three times, but his new family called him everyday so he feels that we don’t love him. So he said that he’s going to move in with them and never come home. And he has no idea how much that hurts me. It hurts me a lot because he’s the only parent that I have. And the reason I don’t tell […]
I think I’ve reached the end of my chain. There’s nothing I can do right and I think it’s time to stop trying. I’ve screwed up so bad I just can’t keep thinking that I will make it out this time. School sucks I can’t make friends and no one cares. The teachers make me feel like crap and they don’t even know how much it hurts. This world is crap so what’s the point anymore. If no one cares about then what’s the point to live anymore. Who would care if I where dead not like anyone were really my friends they just put […]
You think you’ve had just about finished feeling pain. Then someone just puts you in just twice as much pain you just got out of. I was hurting and thought I was going to be okay for I couple of days then someone in my family just stabs me in the back and I’m in so much pain that I cry till I pass out for the night. Then when I wake up I start to hear things. That brings bad memories and curl I in to ball and cry more. I just want to cut myself so bad, but I can’t bring myself […]
Everyone I know thinks I’m a great person but if I could there would be so much that I would change. I have to work ten times harder then the normal person because I have a learning disablity. I also have a tremor which causes me to shake for no reason. There’s several more things I could list but I won’t. Yesterday was very upsetting. I have a Drama class and we were working on Friday on a fight scene with combat in it ,but my tremors started up. And I was like that for two days. So I went to my teacher yesterday to […]
My story goes like this. My parent would fight every second of the day. I would lock myself in my room and try to block it out. But the pain kept getting worse and never stopped. So I would cut myself to make it go away. It helped for a little while but then it came back ten times stronger. So I tried to find away out and of course the way out I thought was to commit suicide. My house is a second story house and my sister’s room (which is now my room) has a window that has access to the […]
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