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Lacalamity

Alternatives to dying ?

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

Hi guys, long time no see huh ? Well, new ones might not know me, most of old posters here I regularly saw past away, or went to another site…

But hey, you right there might give me some answers !

We always talk about life and death, but is there a way not to “live” while waiting to die ?

Most of you will say something about going in a coma, but it’s not what I am looking for.

I mean, dying mentally, finding a braindead way of living.

Is a strange question, I know, but you will really help me out on this one.

Thanks guys

 

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The moment when

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

you realize that “how are you ?” is a rhetorical question at this point in life.

I want to scream everyday, but can’t find the energy to do so.

My list of things that matter gets shorter everyday.

And in the end, I will realize too late, that yes, those things have mattered all the time, but the darkness in my head created it’s own reality, making me distance myself from…me…

I just needed to get this one out.

stay alive guys, best of luck

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The “I just got stabbed butlook he got stabbed by 2 swords, my life ain’t so bad” mentality

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

This isn’t how things work in the real world here. People who claim stuff like this have no empathy and are very materialistic.

“hurr durr you got a pc and muniiiii y u complaining ?!”

Yeah, real poor people don’t have the time to struggle with themselves, they are always trying to survive and end up bottleling their emotions . They are always in need, which is sad…

But we have the chance to think about our emotions, to explore our inner self. And there is no shame to be had at all

So if some prick comes with a bullshit reply like:

“hurr durr you got a pc and […]

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I am back

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

hey guys,

 

so yeah, I got a long break from this site. So yeah, I gained some experience over the couple months.

If you love someone but the person doesn’t love you, tell her/or not, and then you disconnect with her/him. You delete everything, phone numbers, throw away pictures or you bury the, never talk to that person ever again. Let this person rest in your history, don’t run towards the future while looking back and hoping things will turn out how you wish it to be. Begin again, even if it hurts, scars don’t hurt after a while. The one I loved, was a good person, […]

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Remember when we didn’t existed ?

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

Man oh man I surely miss those times before I was born, felling nothing, no hunger, no thirst, no emotions and times flew bye so fast don’t you think guys ?

So yeah I really want to go back to those good days, I don’t want a paradise or hell, I don’t want to be conscious, maybe because  I fear to see my family from the otherworld.

But jeez it is so tempting, the good old days, jokes on me if we live again the same life.

so yeah, loosing it soon as time goes bye and as the gun locker laughs at me.

If anyone wants to know […]

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morning begins f#cking great

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

Went to the shop to get milk and some alcohol, to make some pudding and drown my sorrows. Got me some vine but I see that I can’t f#cking open it.

Besides that I just wanna f#cking die since a month. I really don’T want therapy, I don’t want to feel happiness, I enjoy my pass-time activities but I am not happy, even when I had my first girlfriend I was apathetic and didn’t feel anything.

Every time I am at my parents house, the gun locker laughs at me, I could just end it all, go to the forest and bang.

 

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Anyone has experience with this type of person ?

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

Hi guys, hope you doing fine.

Well to attack the topic, I met a certain girl in college in september. I was eating in the cafeteria as I watched the students picking up their meals with their backs turned. But I noticed a particular back, a girl’s back, I was sure I knew this person from my high school because it had much in common with another girl I knew. But as she turned around I couldn’t look away, I was like an Y-wing with a target lock on a star destroyer. I looked at her and made a hand signal to come to me, first […]

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I hate living

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

every time I wake up, the very first sentence is ” I hate living”.

Today it was “Am I dead yet ?”

I got a roof and something to eat, but I spend all my time alone here in my room. But it makes me feel safe, it makes me feel good doing everything I want with no one here to see me.

Yesterday I was really ready to kill myself, something deep down drove me to take a damn knife and end it all, but then I couldn’t.

I called some line where you can talk but the person didn’t said anything that hasn’t be said.

I want to […]

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Looking in the mirror and saying to myself

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

“somewhere something horrible happens to someone on this earth and I am here.”

I started to think what makes me really sad, to know that people are forced to do things they don’t want, like children getting beat up because they blasphemed, men who are send to die against their will, women forced into submission by their own kin. And the list goes on and on, and I feel how this feels,I saw this things, and just thinking about this makes me so strange, kinda a mix between rage, fear, panic, a horrible feeling. And I don’t know how to cope with it, am I too […]

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questions over questions

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

Hi guys, hope you good, got some favors to ask.

I want to see a therapist, but I don’t know what the deal is with me, this sadness I carry, always thinking about how the living dies and hurts others in horrible ways and I can’t just do anything, can just watch. The only thing I can do is to be there for the ones I love but even then, nothing is sure. I don’t even want to die that bad now, I feel like I have a job to finish here. It feels like that my sadness drives me on since no long, but what […]

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So yeah a little something on how I am quite happy lately

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

First off I am sorry Monster for you.

So yeah, lately  I did became more calm and a degree under happy, rather satisfied. I have everything I need here, no work, no other people.

Speaking of people, I really feel like being asocial, I don’t wanna see anyone, don’t wanna talk and it is just fine to be honest, I have everything at home to be entertained so yeah.

Second,  I guess this varies from guy to guy but I had like a maturation phase in some days, I rarely  think about having a girlfriend now, even disliking the idea of having one. Which is keeping my head […]

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So yeah I am posting after a time

by Lacalamity
written by Lacalamity

So yeah I am here, quite a things have happened, so take a seat and don’t expect this to be something too grim.

So I fought my depression, and finally won, I guess, I feel more neutral or rather “passive happy” now…Maybe with an image things would clear up: I feel like a lone wolf in his cave having food and water.

I am happy with what I have here, always water and something to eat, it is warm, and nobody is here to get on my nerves.

But this is what I have fought for in school, to never go back there.

And I broke my phone, which […]

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