fuck man its been like what a year? half a year since i last posted? crazy shit i almost felt better for a bit. shits been annoying man, i cant fuckin pass a year at school and i dont have a job so im not really doing anything except getting yelled at and told off for nothing. my parents basically are just sick of me and since the divorce they dont have eachother to shout at so im basically my mum and my dads verbal punching bag, which kinda sucks. plus all the gyms are gonna close down and my dad relies on his boxing […]
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fuck dude how i experience life just isnt good.
theres a permanent disconnect between me and the world im interacting with
i have been depressed since i was 12. i turned 18 a week ago.
i didnt think i would make it this far. i thought i would have killed myself […]
its like i just woke up slowly
i mean dont get me wrong im still depressed and angry at the world
i couldnt tell you how or why but the thoughts just went away
i still think about killing other people but i dont want to die anymore
its like my brain realized that you only really need 1 or 2 reasons to stick around
i got graffiti and i got my little bro
thats worth sticking around for
feelsgoodman
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I feel like if i could love someone. save them from what im feeling right now. i could be ok.
every second of the day i wish i had someone to hug. im not lonely, im just upset that i cant love someone.
i have so much love to give, the only time im happy is when i make other people happy.
but nobody wants to let me love them because im a freak.
life is like the movie taxi driver. im in a constant dreamstate trying to choose between proving my masculinity with violence or heroic compassion towards a someone who needs me.
i […]
the easiest way to describe how i feel is just
*internal screaming*
im so fucking done with just everything
why cant it just be over
i dont give a fuck anymore
i have accepted defeat
there is no future
i have no future
im ok with it
why cant i just skip to the part where
im in my appartment, or homeless
i dont care
i just want to be alone
if a tree falls and nobody is around to witness it and nobody ever finds it, did it really ever happen?
if i am a failure, and nobody is around to care. was i […]
WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER??
> I think about killing myself every day. Sleeping is hard when you know tomorrow you are going to feel the exact same.
STOP PRETENDING YOU CARE
YOU DONT CARE, ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS TALK ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND AS IF IT DOESNT HURT ME
(im emptying my emotional bank right now, my ex is asking me if im ok, vapid ****)
SHUT THE FUCK UP. STOP TALKING TO ME. EVERYTIME YOU TEXT ME OR SEE ME IT HURTS.
IM TOO NICE TO TELL YOU TO FUCK OFF, STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT.
EVERY FUCKING TIME […]
wrote this rap/poem but dont remember doing it
thought i would share
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hey family its me, um. mum and dad remember im your son
constant obsessions with weapons, oh looky there another gun
oh look at me im happy, im having […]
Can’t i just smoke a joint without being compared to my convict brother.
Can’t i just drink a beer with my friends without dissapointing my parents.
Can’t i just be left alone without being called a freak.
Can’t i be who i am without judgement of those closest to me?
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For the record, i am enjoying this safe place. i like dumping my feelings here, and feeling heard. it makes me feel happier.
I was raised by the internet, i am 17. from when i was 4 and living in a rural area, to now when i am living in a tightly nit township ( from wich i am quite excluded )
i have been using the internet. which i feel has changed me massively as a person. i am cynical, i am hatefull, i am critical and mistrusting. it started on newgrounds, then i moved to early 9gag. when i decided to bail on that […]
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I just feel like venting, generally my entire life i have been just bottling up my shit. i learned how to deal with my emotions and im quite intelligent in that regard, but i have just always kept what i thought and what i felt to myself. because that was easier […]